Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts: Bam Margera
by Aliiiceh
Summary: Bam Margera and Alex are best friends. Along with Ryan Dunn they spend their childhood wreaking havoc on the neighbourhood. But when Bam and Alex realise their feelings for each other are a lot more than just friendship their lives are turned upside down.
1. Introduction

**Chapter One.**

"She's never going to do it."

"No way."

Seven year old Bam and his best friend Ryan stared up into the tree in Bam's back garden, where their friend, and Ryan's cousin Alex was clinging to a branch, preparing to jump off and land on an old mattress.

"Hurry up if you're going to do it Alex, my mom will be back in like fifteen minutes." Bam shouted, pointing his brother's hand held camera up to record Alex's reaction.

"Shut up Bam, I'm going to do it!" she replied, with a determined tone to her voice.

Bam and Ryan stood back, their jaws wide open as Alex leapt gracefully from the tree and landed square on the mattress with a bounce.

"Wow that was amazing!" she exclaimed, picking herself up and dusting herself down. "Did you get in on camera?" she asked, hurrying over to where her friends were standing.

"Yeah!" grinned Ryan, as she peered over the boys' shoulders to see the camera screen.

"Wicked!" she smiled. "Come on Ryan, I'm going for lunch, see you later Bam." With a little wave to Bam, Alex skipped off in the direction of her own house with Ryan in tow.

Alex had lived in West Chester all her life. She, Bam and Ryan had been friends since they were born and they were practically inseparable. The three seven year olds were in the same class at school and spent all of their free time together. Alex had always been a tomboy, refusing to wear 'pretty' clothes, and she preferred the company of Bam and her cousin, to that of girls her age. Her house was only six doors down from Bam's, where she lived with her mother Vivian, her aunt Janet and her cousin Ryan. Ryan's mother Janet was a nurse who worked long shifts and she was rarely around, leaving Vivian to look after her son most of the time.

Later that afternoon, Alex and Ryan were playing a computer game, when Vivian appeared in the doorway and stood with her arms folded. Alex and Ryan sighed simultaneously and put down their controllers, wondering what they were in trouble for this time.

"I've just had a phone call from April." Vivian began, referring to Bam's mother. "You three are in a lot of trouble. Come with me."

Alex and Ryan exchanged disgruntled looks, before getting up and following Vivian in the direction of Bam's house. Alex had a feeling she knew what was coming. They walked inside the house to find Bam sitting at the table sulking and April standing in the middle of the kitchen with the video camera in her hand. Alex's suspicions had been confirmed and she rolled her eyes at a similarly annoyed Bam. Evidently Jess had grassed them up. Alex and Ryan sat down miserably at the table next to Bam, under the watchful eyes of the two mothers. April and Vivian began to rant and rave about the dangers of climbing trees and wondering aloud just how could they have been so stupid, and that they were lucky no one had been hurt. Alex, Bam and Ryan scowled, vowing in silence to get revenge on Bam's older brother.

As soon as their scolding was over, Alex, Ryan and Bam scampered out of the kitchen and into their secret den at the bottom of Bam's garden. They took seats on a log that functioned as a bench and the boys began to complain about their punishment.

"I can't believe Jess told on us!" Ryan grimaced, snapping twigs in frustration.

"He's such a dick." Bam moaned, kicking the grass angrily. "Mom's taken my skateboard off me for a month!"

"We need to get him back!" announced Alex. She stood up and paced back and forward, trying to think of a brilliant prank to play on Jess. Alex, Bam and Ryan prided themselves on their talent as pranksters, and they were always getting up to some kind of mischief in an attempt to play jokes on their family. Bam's uncle Vincent, known better as Don Vito, was their favourite target.

That evening, April was throwing a garden party for all of her friends and family. Despite the fact that they were supposed to be being punished, April and Vivian had agreed that Alex, Bam and Ryan could attend, as it was the only way of guaranteeing that they could keep their eyes on the trouble makers. It was the perfect opportunity to turn the table on Jess.

"What's the plan then?" Bam asked Alex, resting his chin in his hands.

"Give me a second." She replied, an impish grin spreading over her face.

Bam and Ryan stared at her apprehensively. She enjoyed being the centre of attention and was always fighting Bam for the title of ring leader. Despite how much Alex and Bam had in common, they frequently clashed and it was up to Ryan to keep the peace.

"I think we should..." she hesitated, watching a worm crawl slowly through the mud under their feet. "I think we should make Jess a nice tasty worm burger!"

Bam and Ryan's eyes lit up in delight. The idea of Bam's older brother eating a worm was hilarious to the seven year olds. The plan was fairly simple. Alex would distract Jess from the table, whilst Bam and Ryan would place several especially large worms inside his beef burger. Jess would then bit down on his juicy surprise. It was flawless.

"Alex, Ryan, home time! Now!" Vivian shouted from the other end of the garden.

"See you in a bit Bam Bam!" Alex grinned, as they performed their secret handshake.

"You two need to change before this evening." Vivian sighed, seeing the two cousins come scrambling out of the bushes covered in mud. Alex and Ryan groaned, following her back to their own house. "And Alex, would it kill you to wear a dress?" she asked her daughter.

"Yes." Alex retorted in disgust, to her mother's despair. Alex had not worn a dress since she had been old enough to speak her mind and had no intention of doing so tonight. Dresses were for girly girls, which Alex most certainly was not.

It wasn't long until April's party was due to start, so in an attempt to appease her already fractious mother, Alex changed into a pair of shorts that unfortunately revealed her scabby knees and bruised shins, and the new purple t-shirt that Vivian had brought her earlier in the week. She even pulled a brush through her tangled mane of hair, so there was no reason for her mother to complain tonight.

Ryan was unable to wear a pair of trousers without ripping holes in the knees, so Vivian knew it was pointless to argue when he appeared at the bottom on the stairs in a not so holey pair of jeans and a clean white shirt. His blonde hair was sticking up every which way, but she knew better than to approach him with a brush. He seemed fond of the wild cave-man look.

Alex and Ryan ran ahead of Vivian and burst into Bam's back garden, where he was standing next to April. She was trying hopelessly to button up Bam's new shirt but he was proving to be as uncooperative as ever, batting away her hands with a look of disgust on his face. Alex and Ryan laughed as he struggled against his mother and finally won. Bam hurried over to his friends and peered over his shoulder to make sure that no one was looking, before pulling a jam jar out of his pocket. In the jar were four large earthworms.

"Perfect." Alex grinned.

It wasn't long before Phil had lit the barbecue. Alex, Bam and Ryan waited impatiently for him to serve the burgers so they could execute their plot of revenge. Alex could feel her heart beat increasing from the thrill. Playing pranks had always given her a rush of adrenaline. They waited with baited breaths as Jess took his seat at the table and took the first bit out of his burger. This was Alex's cue.

"Hey Jess." She smiled, tapping him on the shoulder. The older boy put down his burger and turned to face her. "Could you help me? I accidently kicked the ball in the tree." She pointed to the far end of the garden. "I would get it myself but mom says to ask you because I'm not allowed to climb trees anymore." She pouted a little.

"Sure."Jess sighed. He had always had a soft spot for Alex, in the sense that she didn't wind him up nearly half as much as Bam and Ryan did. He got up from his seat and followed Alex to the same tree that she had jumped out of earlier.

Meanwhile, Bam and Ryan wandered casually over to the table where Jess had been sitting between Don Vito and a little girl from down the street. When they were confident they were not being watched, Bam shook the jar upside down while Ryan held the burger open. The worms tumbled out on to the burger and Ryan dropped the bun back on top so that it appeared untouched. Without a second glance they ran as fast as they could to the end of the garden where Alex was standing with Jess.

"That's weird, I was sure it went up into this one." She sighed. Jess shrugged and headed back to the others.

"Did you do it?" she grinned.

"Yup. Any second now..."

The three friends turned around to face the table where Jess was just about to put the burger in his mouth. They held their breaths.

"Argh mom! There's a worm in my burger!"

Alex, Bam and Ryan erupted in a fit of hysterics and dove into the bushes to hide in their den.


	2. First Day of School

**Chapter Two.**

Four years after the 'worm incident' as it later came to be known; Alex, Bam and Ryan found themselves about to start their first day of high school. They were all extremely excited and nervous at the same time. Alex was a little worried that the three of them might not end up in the same classes, but she was confident that no matter what they would continue to be best friends.

Vivian dropped them off a little way from the school gates and they walked up to the building apprehensively.

"Behave yourselves!" she had warned, staring firmly at the three eleven year olds.

"Yes mom." Alex had groaned in response.

To Alex's delight, she, Bam and Ryan were all in the same classes, as well as registration group. It was a recipe for disaster and sure enough disaster followed.

Their first lesson was maths and they hurried to take their seats at the back of the classroom where they were more likely to get away with chatting. The lesson was incredibly dull and Ryan had actually fallen asleep. He was beginning to snore softly and Alex was amazed that the teacher had not spotted him. Bam nudged Alex who was sitting on the other side of her cousin. She watched as Bam started to place pencils in Ryan's shaggy hair.

Before long Ryan had pens and pencils coming from every available space on his body. It wasn't until he cried out in pain as Bam tried sticking one up his nostril that the teacher finally caught wind of what they were doing and sent them out of his room immediately. Ryan couldn't understand what he had done wrong, but followed Bam and Alex regardless, he would much rather be in trouble with them than stuck in that boring room on his own.

After receiving their first detention they dawdled down the corridor, laughing about their little stunt and planning pranks to play on the maths teacher in future. The next lesson was art, and this time they spent the hour flicking paintbrushes at each other rather than getting on the paper. The art teacher had no choice but to send them outside the classroom, where they sat, covered in paint, waiting for their punishment.

During science, Bam, Alex and Ryan sent paper planes flying around the classroom. They thought they had gotten away with it too, as the teacher seemed unsure of who the culprits were. That is, until she unfolded the sheet of paper and saw that Ryan had foolishly written his name on the worksheet before turning it into a missile. She put one and two together, resulting in a third detention for the three friends.

"Detention on our first day, not bad for a morning's work." Bam chuckled as they made their way out on the field for lunch.

Ryan and Alex nodded in agreement.

By the end of the day, Alex, Bam and Ryan had clocked up five hours worth of detention.

"Unfortunately we don't hand out five hour long detentions." The head of year sighed, collecting them from their last lesson. "So instead, you'll be in detention for an hour every day this week."

Alex, Bam and Ryan collectively groaned, taking their assigned seats in the classroom. The teacher handed them worksheets and took her own seat at the front of the room. There were a few other kids in the room who obviously shared Alex and company's talent for getting into trouble on the first day. Alex was sitting a few desks a way from a short blonde haired boy with a cheeky grin. At the front of the room was an older boy with long curly hair and at the back near Bam was another older boy with short dark hair.

"I don't want to hear so much as a pin drop." She warned, staring at them all through her thick rimmed glasses.

Alex sighed and started the sheet, knowing they were in for another world of trouble from Vivian and April when they got home. They worked in silence for at least half an hour before the teacher had to leave the room. Once the coast was clear, the blonde boy turned to Alex.

"This sucks." He complained.

Alex agreed. "It's my first day and all."

"Mine too." The boy laughed. "I'm Chris but everyone calls me Raab."

"I'm Alex but everyone calls me Alex." She teased, smiling at him. He giggled as Alex turned around to see Bam talking to the boy next to him. His name was Brandon Dicamillo and he was two years above them. Rake, the boy at the front of the class was one of his friends. The six detainees swapped stories about the reasons for their detention.

"We blew up the science lab." Rake grinned.

"No WE didn't do anything. You blew it up, I was guilty by association." Dico corrected him from across the room.

"What did you do Raab?" Alex asked, turning to her new friend.

"I flooded the boys toilets." He said, with a straight face.

"On purpose?"

He shook his head. "Accidently."

The room erupted with laughter and Raab grinned, pleased by the attention.

"Shit, she's coming back!" Rake warned them. The miscreants settled back down and the teacher was oblivious to any disorder that had occurred during her absence.

When they were finally released, Alex, Bam and Ryan followed Dico, Rake and Raab as they started their walk home. As they got chatting it turned out that they all lived fairly close. The walk was around twenty minutes long, but they were in no rush to face up their parents punishment so when Dico and Rake invited them to the park they were only too happy to oblige.

Sitting by the swings was a shady looking guy wearing sunglasses, with long hair and a long leather jacket on, which seemed to drown his skinny figure.

"Yo Novak!" Dico shouted, as they approached the figure.

"Yo dudes." The stranger waved them over and Rake introduced Bam, Alex, Ryan and Raab to their friend Brandon Novak. Novak was their supplier of all things frowned upon, including alcohol and cigarettes. Although he himself was only fourteen, he had older brothers.

Alex, Bam, Ryan and Raab watched on curiously as Rake and Dico bought cigarettes and alcohol from Novak.

"Shit we better go." Alex sighed, looking at her watch. "Our mom's are literally gonna kill us."

Dico and Rake laughed. "We'll catch you at school tomorrow if you're still alive."

They said their goodbyes to their new friends, and Raab joined the three of them as they made their way home to accept whatever punishment lay ahead of them. Eventually they went their separate ways. Ryan and Alex took deep breaths before approaching the house.

"And just where the hell have you been?" Vivian yelled as Alex opened the front door. Sure enough she had been ready and waiting for them.

"Detention." She mumbled, walking through with her head hung low.

"Yes I know that, but detention finished an hour and a half ago. It doesn't take you that long to walk home." Her mother continued. By this point Alex was already halfway up the stairs with Ryan close behind her. They both knew well enough to keep out of Vivian's way.

Bam was greeted in a similar fashion by April. She said she was shocked that he could manage to find himself in so much trouble in just one day of starting school, and that if he didn't get his act together she would send him to boarding school. Bam scoffed at this, as she used the same threat for the majority of his time at junior school but had never followed through with it.

The three friends knew there was no hope of meeting up that night. They had all been grounded for two weeks, so the next day of school could not come quick enough. As promised, they were kept behind for another detention but they soon realised it was something they were going to get used to over the next seven years.


	3. Truth or Dare?

**Chapter Three.**

Alex, Bam and Ryan had been at high school for the past five years, during which they had spent an unusual amount of time in detention for their constant rule breaking and lack of respect for authority. The three of them were at the bottom of the class, but this was purely down to their behaviour. Alex could easily get good grades if she applied herself, or at least that's what her report card said every year, and Vivian was relentless in her attempts to get her to knuckle down and study. According to her mother, she could get into the best colleges in the country if she stopped being such an idiot and did some work. Alex had no idea if she wanted to go to college but she still had plenty of time to think about it. Ryan and Bam on the other hand were lost causes. Bam was intending to drop out of school that year and get signed by a skateboard sponsor so he could live his dream of becoming a professional skater. Ryan wanted to get an apprenticeship to become a mechanic.

One afternoon when they had not long turned sixteen, the three friends were sitting in the park after a particularly long detention, smoking a joint when Bam's phone began to buzz.

"Novak's having a house party!" Bam announced, reading the text on his phone.

"Nice one." Ryan grinned.

"I hate Novak." Alex whined about Bam's older friend Brandon Novak. He was really into drinking and drugs and she recalled the numerous times he had tried it on with her.

"We're going, and that's it." Bam decided, ignoring Alex's complaining.

"I hope there's gonna be some hot girls there!" Ryan exclaimed.

Alex shook her head and punched him on the arm. Ryan and Bam were at the age where all they could think about was hot girls. Alex found it highly amusing that neither of them had had girlfriends. They were good looking, she had to give them that, but they were the unpopular kids at school. "The issue is, how are we gonna get our booze?" she sighed.

"You could just steal it Bam, you dirty thief." Alex exclaimed after Bam had grabbed the joint from her. He simply laughed and took a long drag. Alex launched herself at him and the full force of her body knocked him backwards, causing the joint to fly into the expertly placed hands of Ryan. He put it to his lips and watched, only vaguely interested, as Alex and Bam proceeded to wrestle each other.

"Booze guys." Ryan shouted eventually, in order to break up the brawl.

Alex removed herself from Bam's chest and returned to her original position, snatching the joint back from Ryan. The three sixteen year olds looked at one another. Alex scratched her head. Her hair was now dyed dark black with platinum blonde streaks and she had her lip and left nostril pierced. Needless to say her drastic transformation over the past few years had not gone down well with Vivian. Bam and Ryan on the other hand had simply let their hair grow a little too long and were not accustomed to showering.

"Rake and Dico are nineteen. They might be able to get served." Dunn pondered, referring to two of their older friends.

"Yeah but Raab has a fake ID." Bam reminded them. After a quick phone call it was settled. Raab would supply the alcohol for the evening's event.

Alex pulled on a pair of tight jeans and a ripped black vest before back combing her hair for added volume. She liked to stand out from the crowd. She had been with a few boys but she wasn't really into dating, she still preferred the company of her close group of friends. Many of the girls at school thought she was either plain weird, or dating Bam as they were always so close. This never failed to make Alex and Bam laugh. The thought of dating each other was so absurd that it was hilarious. Bam was like a brother to Alex, and when they weren't getting into trouble they were constantly fighting with one another. There was a certain tension between them, highlighted by all of their friends, particularly Novak who thought they would make a lovely couple, but Alex always wrote it off and hit Novak rather hard when he said this.

Novak didn't live far away, so Alex and Ryan met up with Bam before heading to the party. When they arrived they immediately sought out Dico, Raab and Rake who were already considerably intoxicated. Alex took a seat beside Bam on the sofa and stole his can of beer the second he looked away. The house filled rapidly with people Alex had never seen before. The majority of the guests were outside, but Alex, Bam, Ryan, Novak, Dico and Raab were sitting in a circle on Novak's living room floor.

"Let's play dares."

Alex groaned. She used to love playing dares, but now that they were older it was becoming more and more focused on stripping and kissing people. Novak grinned. Trust it to be Novak.

"I'll go first." Dico decided. "I dare Ryan to lick Raab's nipple."

Sure enough, the nakedness ensued. Alex waited apprehensively for her turn and was less than impressed when it was Novak who set her dare.

"I dare Alex to make out with Bam!"

The words hit Alex like a punch in the stomach. "You have got to be kidding me!" she looked at Novak in disgust. This time he had gone too far. He simply smiled. Alex's mind was racing. She could not kiss Bam. It was just...wrong. Alex stared across the circle at Bam. He grinned awkwardly, clearly sharing the same thoughts as Alex. The others were shouting and chanting their names now, the pressure was on. Forfeiting was not an option; both Alex and Bam knew this.

"Let's get this over with." She sighed, giving into the peer pressure and crawling across the carpet towards Bam. The most outrageous thing about the whole situation was that she didn't feel grossed out by the idea of kissing him. She did however, feel embarrassed and nervous, which she put down to the copious amount of alcohol in her bloodstream.

"Sorry." She mouthed to Bam, adjusting her position so that she could reach him.

"Fifteen seconds!" Novak demanded, tapping his watch in an authoritative manner.

Alex screwed her eyes shut and leant forward slowly, hoping for the best. The next few seconds seemed to pass in slow motion. She felt her lips connect with Bam's and was surprised by how soft and warm they were. Ignoring the pain in her knees and the countdown being chanted by her friends, she started to kiss him. He kissed her back and suddenly she forgot where she was and what was happening. She had become lost in the kiss. After what seemed like a life time, the countdown reached zero, and Alex pulled away. She avoided making eye contact with Bam as she clambered back to her seat in the circle.

The guys were whooping and cheering and the game continued. Novak was stark naked before the game ended and he remained that way for the rest of the night.

Later on, Alex bumped in to Bam in the kitchen. There were a couple of girls passed out on the floor, but other than that, they were alone. She wasn't sure if she should feel awkward or embarrassed around him, so she pretended nothing had happened.

"Yo Bam Bam."

"You got any beer left?" he asked, peering into the fridge.

"Nah, but I found some vodka." She replied, holding out the bottle to him as he turned around to face her.

"Nice one!" he grinned, taking a swig from the bottle. She laughed as his face contorted into disgust at the harsh taste of the spirit.

"Let's get out of here." Bam whispered, turning away from the drunken men that had just entered the room. Alex followed him, vodka in hand, as he made his way into the garden. They sat at the end of Novak's garden on a swinging chair and Alex started to drink from the vodka as Bam rolled a cigarette.

"Pretty good party huh?" Bam grinned, trying to concentrate on the task at hand.

Alex felt as if she should say something about the kiss, but she didn't want to make things awkward. Bam seemed content to sit drinking and smoking with her, and they talked about everything but the kiss. So that was how it would be. They would pretend it had never happened. That was fine with Alex, as it was not something that she wanted to dwell on.

"Dude I'm so fucking wasted." Bam laughed, dropping the cigarette on the ground.

Eventually both the vodka bottle was empty and Alex and Bam had both passed out on one another. Alex woke early in the morning to find the garden deserted and that Bam was snoring loudly on her shoulder. She laughed and nudged him awake.


	4. Goodbye For Now

**Chapter Four.**

"Oh my God, oh my fucking God!" screamed Bam, literally jumping up and down.

"What?" asked Ryan and Alex simultaneously, looking at the manic sixteen year old bouncing on their door step. It was seven in the morning and they had just been rudely awoken by a knock on the door.

"I've been signed!" Bam explained, barging past his friends and into their house.

"You what!" repeated Ryan, stifling a yawn and following Bam into the kitchen.

"I just got the call this morning. I'm dropping out of school and going on tour next month for the rest of the year." Bam continued. Alex's jaw dropped.

"That's six months, fucking hell!" Ryan's eyes widened as they took seats around the table. Alex was too shocked too speak.

"Yeah I'll be home for Christmas." Bam grinned, helping himself to a piece of toast.

"What did your mom say?" Alex asked, pulling her dressing gown around her.

"She was a bit upset but she's happy for me." He replied through a mouthful of toast.

"And Jenn?" Alex asked, referring to the girl Bam had been dating for a few months.

"I've not told her yet."

Alex and Ryan laughed. They liked Jenn but she really wasn't Bam's type and he was only with her in the hope of getting laid.

Although he still had a few weeks before leaving, Bam was true to his word and did not return to school. It was not the same without him and Ryan and Alex moped around, feeling as if they had lost a limb. To the shock and jubilation of the teachers, they no longer had the spirit to cause any trouble. Their ring leader was gone. Raab had already been kicked out of school a few months ago, and Dico and Rake were in their final year.

"This sucks." Ryan moaned, kicking his locker closed one lunchtime.

"Tell me about it. If I didn't know that mom would kill us, I'd drop out myself." Alex agreed.

"You fancy skipping class this afternoon and getting wasted?"

Alex's eyes lit up. "Need you ask?"

"Let's get out of this shit hole then!" Ryan grabbed his bag and Alex followed after him as he ran down the corridor and towards the exit.

They stole a few bottles of wine from the shop around the corner and headed to the park. Bam was out of town meeting with his sponsors before the tour. Raab joined them in spending the afternoon drinking and smoking, but just like school, it felt wrong without Bam.

The month before Bam left went by far too fast for Alex's liking. In the sixteen years that they had been friends they had never been separated for longer than a week. Now she would not see him for six months. It was unthinkable.

The night that Bam left, April threw a big party and invited all his friends and family. Alex and Ryan were in no mood to party, but kept smiling for Bam. The last thing he needed was to see how distraught they were about his impending departure.

"I hope I get a party when I come back." Bam laughed, draining a can of beer in one gulp.

"You'll get more than a fucking party dude; you'll get a unicorn or something!" Ryan told him.

"A unicorn?" Alex shot her cousin a puzzled look.

"Unicorns are fucking cool." He retorted, after emptying his own can in a similar fashion to Bam.

The time to say goodbye was soon upon them. Alex watched as he kissed Jenn goodbye and felt an unexpected pang of jealously. Where it came from, she had no idea, but it was most certainly present and making itself known to her. She shook off these feelings, and watched sadly as Bam made his rounds, saying good bye to his friends and family. His parents were driving him to the airport shortly and April had allowed Ryan and Alex to accompany her, Phil and Jess in waving him off.

The ride to the airport was as very sombre one. April and Phil chatted away in the front, while Alex, Ryan, Jess and Bam sat quietly in the back, contemplating half a year without one of their own. Alex felt a lump rise in her throat as they pulled into the car park.

"See you soon cock sucker." Bam grinned, giving Ryan a very manly hug.

"Whatever dickhead." Ryan laughed, patting his friend on the back.

Bam came to Alex last of all. April, Phil, Ryan and Jess had disappeared, leaving the two of them alone at the boarding gate. "Look after Ryan for me." He smiled.

She nodded. "I'll try."

"And make sure Jess doesn't think he's won."

"Of course not." She tried to smile. "I'll miss you, dickhead."

"I'll miss you more."

They embraced and Alex did not want him to let go of her. Bam had been Alex's lifeline throughout their childhood. He was her shoulder to cry on and despite the friction between them he had always stood up for her in a fight and protected her when she needed it most. They had smoked their first joint together, stole their first bag of sweets together, gotten drunk for the first time together, and now he was leaving her.

"I'll be home before you know it." He told her, squeezing her affectionately as if he could read her thoughts.

They continued to hold each other tightly, unaware of what the other was truly thinking. Eventually Alex started to feel a little awkward, knowing that the other passengers were watching and probably getting the wrong idea, and reluctantly pulled away.

"Don't cry dickhead." Bam laughed, noticing that Alex's eyes were starting to well up. He reached over and caught the first tear that fell with his finger.

"I'm not." She lied, knowing she was not fooling him. She rubbed her eyes furiously, smudging her heavily mascared eyes.

He ignored her and pulled a strand of her now bright red hair behind her ear. "As long as you are here, this is my home and I'll always come back." He whispered, tilting his head down towards hers. She couldn't bring herself to look up into those deep blue eyes of his. They held a thousand memories, and one look would bring them all flooding back.

It was at the precise moment that something strange and totally unexpected occurred. Bam took Alex's face in his hands and pulled her head up to his. Alex could feel the sparks shoot through their bodies like electricity as their skin touched. He brought his lips down to brush against hers, where they met for just a few seconds, but those seconds were all it took for Alex to realise that she was inexplicably and undeniably in love with her best friend.

Their goodbye was cut short by a voice on the tannoy calling the passengers of Bam's flight to board. Bam took a step back and smiled awkwardly at Alex. She wondered if he had felt it too.

"See you soon." He told her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

She tried to respond but her throat had closed up and all she could do was cough a faint "Bye."

Bam let go of her hand and turned away in the direction of the boarding gate.

"I love you." She whispered, once he was out of earshot. She remained glued to the floor, watching him walk away when she felt the comforting hand of her cousin on her shoulder. She waited as Bam glanced back for the last time and smiled at her, before disappearing from sight.

That night she cried herself to sleep.


	5. A Birthday Kiss

**Chapter Five.**

Two years had passed by since Bam had first gone on tour. During that time, neither Bam nor Alex had mentioned the kiss they had shared before he had left. Alex would never forget it, but she knew it was best not to dwell on something that would only drive her crazy if she let it.

Bam was due home on the same weekend as Alex's eighteenth birthday. Alex and Ryan were now in their final year of high school. Alex had actually started to put in the effort and raise her grades in hope of getting into university, but this had not dampened her fiery spirit and she and Ryan continued to raise hell in and out of school.

Ryan drove to the airport to pick Bam up. Although he had only been on tour for three months this time, it still felt like he had been gone for ages. After a few minutes of waiting they spotted Bam, now sporting blonde hair as he arrived with a tall, long haired man in tow. After they greeted each other with hugs, Bam introduced his friend.

"Alex, Ryan, this is Ville. He's a singer from Finland. We met in the UK and he's come to stay for a few weeks."

Alex smiled at Ville. He had long dark hair and pale skin. Along with his dark clothes he looked very gothic and Alex could see why he and Bam had become friends.

"It's lovely to meet you." Ville smiled, kissing Alex's hand. She giggled. He had a deep voice with a hint of a Finnish accent. As Ryan and Ville became acquainted, Alex turned back to Bam.

"I like the hair." Bam laughed, staring at Alex's new short peroxide blonde hair cut.

"Yours isn't bad either!" she laughed, observing his own bleach blonde cut.

"Don't lie, he looks like a dick!" Ryan exclaimed, hitting his friend over the head.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Alex shook her head, breaking up the fight.

Back in the car, Bam called shot gun, leaving Alex in the back with Ville where they got to know each other on the short drive back home. Ville was the lead singer in a metal band called HIM. He and Bam had met when their paths crossed in London. Alex felt instantly drawn towards him. He was a very approachable person and made her feel at ease.

Alex could hear Ryan and Bam muttering in the front, but she ignored them as she listened to Ville tell stories about his life back in Finland. It seemed he too had a flair for causing trouble.

"Dude, just tell her already. This is driving me insane." Ryan murmured, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Tell her what?" Bam asked, feigning ignorance.

"Don't be a dick. I can see it as clearly as everyone else. If you don't tell her soon you'll miss your chance."

"Shut up dickhead." Bam growled, punching his friend on the arm.

"Having a lovers' tiff already?" laughed Alex, poking her head into the front of the car. "He's only been back ten minutes."

For the rest of the day, Bam took every opportunity he could to argue, disagree and just generally wind Alex up. She was none the wiser as to his real intentions, as she was simply glad to have her best friend back home again.

The following day was Alex's birthday. She woke up to her phone beeping and flashing, telling her she had voice mails and text messages. The first one she read was from Bam.

_'Happy birthday :-) Meet me in the park at 12? B x.'_

Alex smiled to herself. She wasn't sure why but she could feel her stomach somersault as she reread the message.

After a quick breakfast and opening her cards and presents from Vivian, Alex got dressed to go and meet Bam. She glanced at the clock and realised she was running late so she pulled on a battered pair of jeans and a white vest. She shoved her feet into her old converse and hurried out of the door as fast as she could.

Alex was out of breath by the time she arrived at the park, and the cigarette in her hand was not helping. Sure enough Bam was there waiting for her on the swing. His hood was pulled up, despite the lack of rain, and his skateboard was resting under his feet. She strode over to him and took a seat on the next swing.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Happy birthday." He grinned, pulling something out of his pocket. He handed her a tiny package, which she proceeded to unwrap as delicately as she could. When the last layer of paper came away she saw that it was a jewellery box. This was very unlike Bam, she thought, remembering her last present had been a bottle of vodka and a CD. She opened the box carefully and her mouth opened in surprise as she saw the beautiful heart shaped pendant.

Alex looked back at Bam who was staring at the ground, seeming a little embarrassed. "I love it." She grinned.

Bam looked up. "Really?"

Alex nodded. "Thank you Bam." She manoeuvred the swing so that she could reach over to hug him, and she pecked him on the cheek at the same time. When she swung back to her original position, she fixed the pendant around her neck and grinned at Bam.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Alex was waiting for Bam to say something. Eventually she broke the silence.

"Was there anything else?" she asked Bam, who looked as if he was struggling to find the words he wanted to say.

He simply shook his head and stood up. Alex left it at that, and they walked back to their houses in silence.

That night, Bam threw a party for Alex as his parents were away. It was a fairly small key event, as Alex didn't want lots of strangers trashing April's house, especially not with her mother only a few doors down. As usual, Dico, Novak, Raab and Rake were present, along with a few other kids from school that Bam used to get along with.

Alex spent much of the night talking and drinking with Ville. She could feel herself becoming attracted to him, particularly as the night went on and the alcohol began to absorb into her blood stream.

Alex and Ville were cuddled up on the sofa with a bottle of vodka between them when Bam walked in. He took one look at them and walked back out again. Alex glanced at Ville who was drifting off to sleep and shrugged herself out of his arms. She entered the kitchen to find Ryan standing there alone with a can of beer.

"What's his problem?" She asked, pointing to the figure that had just gone into the garden.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ryan sighed, as if he'd already been through this conversation before.

Alex looked at him blankly. "Obviously not."

"He likes you." Ryan stated, slowly.

"Don't be ridiculous." Alex laughed. "How much have you had to drink?"

Before her cousin could answer, Alex left the kitchen and headed after Bam. She knew exactly where to find him.

"What's up dickhead?" she asked, peering through the bushes into their old secret den at the bottom of the garden.

She was amazed that they ever used to be able to fit through the tiny gap in the bush, as she squeezed herself through, scratching her bare arms in the process. Bam was sitting on the log they used to use a bench, with his head in his hands.

"Nothing." He muttered.

"Bam..." she pressed, remaining on her feet in front of him.

"It's Ville." He said quietly.

"Why what's he done?" she said, utterly confused.

Bam shrugged, still not removing his hands from his head, as if he could not bear to look at her.

"Argh for fuck sake." He yelled angrily, beginning to pull at his hair. "I can't take this anymore."

"Take what?" Alex asked, getting worried by his strange behaviour.

All of a sudden Bam got up from the log and walked up to Alex. She stood very still as he got right up close, took her head in his hands and kissed her furiously.


	6. This Changes Everything

**Chapter Six.**

Alex was too shocked for her brain to engage. Her legs were frozen to the ground where she stood and she had no power to fight back. As their lips brushed together she could feel the same electricity between them as the night two years ago. Was this really happening?

"Bam..." Alex staggered backwards, finally coming to her senses. Bam was staring back at her, emotionless.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, dropping his gaze to the ground.

Alex touched her lips where he had kissed her. "What was that?"

Bam collapsed back on to the log, putting his head back in his hands. "I've liked you for so long Alex, you have no idea how much this has been tearing me apart."

"Try me." She whispered quietly, knowing exactly how he felt.

"I can't explain it. You're my best friend, but being away from you has made me realise how much more you mean to me. "

Alex finally sat beside him and took his hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly.

"I couldn't stand to see you like that with Ville." He continued, holding her hand tightly. "I was just thinking why couldn't it be me?"

"The night you first left to go on tour..." she started.

"I wanted to tell you then, but I didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to ruin what we have."

"So it's taken you two years to admit this?" she looked into his dazzling eyes and felt a lump in her throat. She had no idea what she should be feeling.

Bam nodded, ashamedly. "I guess this changes everything."

"This is so fucked up. You're my best friend."

"I'm sorry." He repeated.

Alex wanted to tell him that she felt exactly the same but she couldn't find the words. Instead, she dropped his hand and put a finger to his lips. "Stop apologising." She whispered, as her head moved closer and closer to his. When their lips were nearly touching she took a deep breath and kissed him.

Alex kissed Bam unlike she had ever kissed anyone before. Her lips crashed down against his, causing his mouth to open a little in shock. Her hands found their way to his blonde hair and she pulled him closer to her.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that they had been best friends for eighteen years. All that mattered was that they were both there, sharing that moment, their bodies intertwined, and their lips meeting passionately.

"What happens now?" Alex muttered, when they finally parted.

Bam smiled. "More of the last please."

Needless to say, their friends were surprised to see that Alex and Bam had finally admitted their feelings, although it was not entirely unexpected. Eventually the teasing subsided and to Alex's surprise, the transition from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend was a smooth one. They had practically spent every day together any way.

From a friend's perspective, Alex always imagined that Bam would have made a rubbish boyfriend, particularly when he had been dating Jenn. He had seemed preoccupied and uninterested, but as it turned out, she had been wrong. He was so loving and kind to Alex, at least when they weren't still bickering like school children.

Alex and Bam had been dating for eight months. Bam was still amazed that he and Alex had ended up together. He had dreamt about this for so long and it was finally his reality. She was his entire world and nothing would ever change that.

"Don't go to work today." He whined, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Alex's waist as she stood up to leave the house. It was the summer holidays. Alex and Ryan had graduated from high school and were waiting to find out their results. Alex had gotten herself a job in a restaurant to pass the time.

"I've got to." She laughed, trying to release herself from his arms. "But I'll see you later tonight."

Bam was having a party that night while April and Phil were away, but Alex would miss the start of it due to working the late shift.

"Okay, have fun." He kissed her passionately before she got into the car. He waited and watched her leave, feeling his pocket vibrate.

Once Alex had disappeared into the distance, Bam glanced at his phone. It was Jenn asking if she could talk to him. Bam knew that if he didn't reply she would find some way of causing trouble between him and Alex. He told her to come to the party that night. They could discuss whatever it was she wanted there with plenty of people around. He wouldn't mention it to Alex, it wasn't important and it would only wind her up.

Alex didn't finish work until gone nine, so hopefully Jenn would say whatever she had to before then and be gone. Unfortunately for Bam, things would not run so smoothly. Jenn did not turn up to the party until nearly ten. She cornered him on the stairs and pushed him into his bedroom before he had chance to resist.

"Jenn, what the fuck?"

She pointed to the bed where he took a seat. "We need to talk."

"Say whatever you have to and then leave." He growled, knowing Alex would arrive any minute now.

"I want to get back with you." She said softly, sitting beside him on the bed.

Bam threw his head back and laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm with Alex now."

Jenn bit her lip and ran her fingers through her long hair, "Just give me a chance to show you what you're missing..." She started to unbutton his shirt.

After work Alex got changed into a black dress and heels, before going to join the party at Bam's. She walked into the house without knocking. She could hear the music blaring and the party was in full swing. It was only ten, but already people were looking a little worse for wear. She scanned the living room for any sign of Bam.

"Where's Bam?" she asked a barely conscious looking Novak who had draped himself over the sofa. He simply shrugged.

Alex sighed and went to help herself to a can of beer from the fridge. She sat and chatted with Raab and Dico for a while but eventually became curious as to the whereabouts of her boyfriend, and headed upstairs in search of him. The door to Bam's bedroom was closed, so she pushed it open.

There, right before her eyes, was a topless Bam with none other than Jenn sitting on his lap. Alex stared at the two of them, lost for words.

"Fuck you." She finally found her voice, before storming out of the room. She started to run down the stairs, tears streaming down her face.

She ran into Ryan at the bottom of the stairs. "What's going on?" he asked, grabbing Alex by the arms to stop her from running off.

"That fucking dick and his stupid little whore." She spat, barging her way out of his arms and towards the front door.

"What? Bam?"

"Yes Bam, and that whore Jenn." Alex shouted, still on her way out of the house. She picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels as she walked and started drinking from it.

"Alex wait, just let him explain."

"Just drop it Ryan, I don't give a fuck."

She drained the bottle of Jack Daniels and dropped it next to the car door, the glass shattering all over the ground. She could hear Ryan shouting from inside the house but she really didn't care what he had to say if he was going to defend Bam.

Alex slammed the car door shut and started the engine, ignoring the silhouette of Bam now in the doorway. She blinked away the tears that were now falling fast down her cheek. How could she have been so stupid to think that it would work? He was just like every other silly little teenage boy. She gripped the steering wheel angrily as she headed out of town. What hurt the most was that she had trusted Bam. She thought their friendship still counted for something, but apparently she had been wrong. That was the last thought in her mind before she saw the wall appear in front of her at a startling speed. Then everything went black.


	7. Goodbye Once Again

**Chapter Seven.**

Bam gulped as he looked down at Alex's motionless form lying on the hospital bed. All of this was his fault. Why had he been stupid enough to meet up with Jenn? He didn't care for her in the slightest, and now the girl he truly loved was fighting for her life because of him. After taking off from the party in Vivian's car, heavily intoxicated, Alex had crashed into a wall and suffered severe head and abdominal injuries.

It was now nearly two o clock in the morning and the doctors had finally allowed Bam and Vivian to see her. Bam had sobered up the instant he discovered that she had crashed and along with Ryan had made his way straight to the hospital.

Alex was unconscious for a week. During this time Bam never left her side. He was tearing himself apart with guilt and while Ryan recognised that what his friend had done was unacceptable, he felt bad seeing Bam in this way.

"Dude, what were you thinking?" Ryan asked, when Bam finally agreed to leave Alex to get a coffee.

"I wasn't." Bam sighed. "I didn't do anything. I just sat there and that's the problem. I should never have even agreed to talk to Jenn, now I've messed things up so bad, I don't know what to do."

Ryan sipped his coffee, considering his friend's predicament.

When Alex finally regained consciousness she saw Bam sitting by her bed and started shouting and swearing. It was a relief to see that she was the same old Alex, but it hurt to hear her say those things about him. Vivian had to push Bam out of the room in a bid to calm her daughter down, and for the extent of her time in hospital Alex refused to see or get in contact with him.

One morning when Alex was well on the road to recovery, Ryan turned up with some flowers and a letter. It had been a month since the crash, and now all Alex had to show for it was a broken leg and a few scars. Alex was sitting on the bed, trying to scratch beneath her cast. Ryan laughed at her frustration.

"It's the moment of truth." He grinned. "The flowers are from Bam."

Alex ignored the flowers as Ryan handed her a large brown envelope. Alex smiled nervously as she tore it open. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she found out that she had graduated from high school with top grades and had been accepted into Stanford University.

"Congratulations!" Ryan grinned, glancing down at the paper. "You did loads better than me, but I still got on my apprenticeship."

She looked at Ryan uncertainly and took a deep breath. "I'm going to do it." She told him. "I'm going to California."

Ryan nodded, accepting her decision. "I'll miss you."

She squeezed his hand tightly. "You can come and visit whenever you want. I just need to get out of this place."

"What about..." Ryan started, looking at his cousin warily.

"Bam? I don't know. I don't want to think about him." She admitted.

"He loves you, you can't just disappear from his life you know." Ryan said quietly.

Alex shrugged, picking at the corners of the paper in an attempt to ignore the conversation.

"Alex. Promise me you'll at least talk to him before you leave."

"Fine." She mumbled, throwing the envelope at Ryan in annoyance and only narrowly missing his eye. Her cousin was so damn frustrating sometimes. She suspected Bam had probably asked Ryan to talk her into seeing him, which annoyed her even more.

Alex was released from hospital the day before her plane left for California. It was such a relief to get out and feel fresh air in her lungs. Remembering her promise to Ryan, she had persuaded Vivian to drop her off at Bam's house on the way back so that she could say her goodbyes.

"Are you sure you want to see him?" Vivian asked worriedly from the front seat. She had not stopped fussing from the second they got out of the hospital doors.

"Mom, just leave it." Alex sighed, struggling to get out of the car with her leg in plaster. "I owe him a goodbye. That's all."

Vivian muttered under her breath, watching her daughter limping towards April's front door. "Call me when you want picking up." She yelled, before driving the short distance to their own house.

Alex hesitated at the door, wondering whether or not to knock. This uncertainty was strange and Alex didn't like it. She wished that everything could go back to normal, but knew this was impossible. Her hand brushed against the smooth wooden door as she was making up her mind on how to handle it. Suddenly there was no longer the need for her to make a decision as the door flew open in front of her and she was greeted by the sight of Bam in his pyjamas. She couldn't help but stare at Bam. His hair was now brown again and had grown considerably over the past few months so that it fell in ringlets around his face.

Before he could say anything, Alex cut to the chase. "I'm leaving." she told him defiantly, still standing on the door step.

"Alex..."

"Nothing you can say will change my mind Bam. I need to do this." She continued at a rapid pace, her words were barely distinguishable.

"Will you come inside?" He asked. His reaction told her that he had been forewarned about her departure by Ryan as suspected.

Alex hesitated, before nodding. Bam held the door open for her as she limped inside on her crutches.

"You look so funny in that cast." Bam admitted, smiling slightly.

Alex started to grin, before remembering how angry she was with him. Rather than retaliate, she bit her tongue and took a seat at the table, waiting for Bam to say something else.

"Let's go somewhere more private." Bam muttered as Jess and his friends entered the kitchen.

Alex agreed and followed him upstairs as best she could with her cast. They sat on the bed in silence. Alex had rehearsed the conversation in her head numerous times whilst in hospital, but now she was face to face with Bam she was lost for words. It was going to be harder than she had imagined.

"I'm moving to California." She told him quietly.

Bam felt his throat tighten and he fought back tears. He deserved this. He deserved to lose the one thing that mattered most to him, and he knew there was nothing he could say that make her stay.

"I understand. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened that night..."

Alex nodded. "I'd better go." She stood up and went to towards the door but Bam grabbed her arm before she could reach the handle.

"Stay the night." He whispered, tightening his grip on her wrist.

"I can't Bam."

"Please. Just one last night." He stared at her, pleadingly.

Alex had no fight left in her, and reluctantly sat back down on the side of the bed. She looked into Bam's eyes and saw all of the hurt, regret and anger he was feeling. She loved him, there was no denying that fact and it pained her to see him like this. She put her own feelings of anger and hurt to one side for the night. For one last night together.

Alex woke up the next morning and suddenly everything came flooding back to her; the night before and the fact that she was leaving in a few hours. Feeling dirty and ashamed of herself, she slipped her clothes back on and headed for the bedroom door.

Before leaving, she turned back to Bam's sleeping form. She couldn't leave like this. It was wrong. No matter how much he had hurt her, Bam deserved a proper goodbye. She scrawled a note on a piece of scrap paper and placed it into his hand.

_'My plane leaves at three.'_

The cards were in his hand now.

At half past two, Alex stood in the departure lounge feeling sick. She had no idea if Bam would show up. In a way she hoped he wouldn't, it would make leaving so much easier. Just as she started to imagine never seeing his face again, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around slowly to see Bam standing behind her. He looked at her sadly. Nothing could have prepared her for how hard this would be. She looked into his eyes and felt her own well up with tears.

"You're really going?" he asked. "Last night didn't change anything?"

She nodded silently.

"I love you."

Alex did not reply. She could not bring herself to say anything. She knew she loved him too, but saying it back would only hurt him even more, she was sure of it. Sleeping with him had been such a stupid thing to do. She could never take it back and she hated herself for it. She looked at Bam sadly before turning on her heel and leaving. As she made her way to the boarding gate, she glanced over her shoulder for the final time, leaving Bam standing alone in the middle of the room.

"Goodbye."


	8. The Return

**Chapter Eight.**

_Four Years Later..._

Lexi looked up at the big house in front of her and took a deep breath. "Home, sweet home." She sighed to Caleb, kissing the top of his head. He giggled, tangling his fingers in her long brown hair.

Lexi had just graduated from her four year degree in education at Stanford University in California. It had never been her intention to return to West Chester after university, but life had a funny way of throwing the unexpected at you, she mused, looking down at the three year old boy in her arms. It had been four years since she had left West Chester. Her departure had not been on the best of terms, but those four years had changed her life in so many ways.

Three year old Caleb had been born at the end of Lexi's first year at university. It was every student's nightmare to find themselves pregnant in the middle of their course, but Lexi had been determined to make it work for her. Moving to California had been the start of a new life for her and Caleb was an unexpected bonus to that new life. Lexi hitched Caleb up further onto her hip and made her way inside the house.

Lexi's boyfriend Tom had moved into their new house earlier in the week as he had to start his new job early, so all Lexi had to do was unpack their clothes and other valuables. Tom was Caleb's father, but he and Lexi had been together for six months and he was very fond of Caleb. It was in fact due to his job that they had found themselves travelling across the country to Lexi's home town.

Lexi had two weeks until she started her own new job as a primary school teacher in the town, which gave her plenty of time to settle in to the new house and also to find a babysitter. Her mother was still living in town, but Lexi didn't want to rely on her, as Vivian had always been unconvinced about Lexi's ability to cope with bringing up a child at such a young age. As for Caleb's real father, the less said about him was the better in Lexi's opinion.

Later that day, Lexi dressed and fed Caleb, before deciding to pay a visit to the supermarket. The cupboards and fridge were empty and they needed to eat. Tom would be working til late so Lexi couldn't wait around for him to get back; she would have to shake off any anxieties about returning to West Chester and get on with her life.

Once she was sure that Caleb was fastened securely in the back of her jeep, she put on her sunglasses and climbed into the driver's seat. Despite the four years that she had been away, Lexi could still perfectly remember her way around West Chester. Not a lot seemed to have changed and she couldn't help but wonder if her old friends were still around, or if they too had moved on. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone just yet. She knew she would have to let her cousin Ryan know she was back, but that would surely result in the old crowd knowing she had returned too and this was not part of her plan.

An hour or so later, and without having bumped into any old faces, Lexi returned to the new house with a car full of food. She felt relieved by the uneventful trip and leaving Caleb in the car, Lexi opened the boot and started to unload her shopping. She picked up as many bags as she could manage and started to make her way to the front door when a man approached her.

"Would you like some help?" he asked.

"Oh that would be so kind." Lexi replied, remembering how friendly the people in West Chester were and stopping to let go of a few of the bags. She looked up from her shopping to see a tall guy with a beard standing by her side. He was dressed in black, wearing a hat over his light brown hair, but it was his eyes that made Lexi double take.

"Jess?" she asked, pushing her hair from her eyes, a little unsure of whether or not he was who she thought he was.

"Oh my God, Alex!" he gasped, suddenly recognising his old friend. "You look so different I barely recognised you! What are you doing here?"

Lexi understood why Jess had a hard time recognising her. The last time he had seen her she had short red hair, multiple piercings and unconventional clothing. Four years on she had let her hair grow past her shoulders in its natural dark brown colour, had taken out her piercings and dressed in a far more conservative way, suitable for a mother.

"I came back." She replied, quietly. "I've just moved in." She gestured at the house.

"Wow." Jess smiled, embracing her in a tight hug. "Does anyone else know your back?"

Lexi shook her head. "No, and I'd prefer it to stay that way until I've sorted everything out." She told him, hoping he would not tell his brother.

"My lips are sealed." He grinned. "It's so good to see you again though, get in touch!"

"I will." She promised, allowing him to take some of the shopping up to the house. It was then that she remembered about her son in the car and hoped that Jess would not spot him; she was not ready for a full interrogation.

They unloaded the boot quickly and Lexi was relieved to have such a well behaved son. He didn't so much as gurgle for the whole time that Jess was around. Lexi had to admit to herself that it was nice to see Jess again, but she was thankful when he made his excuses and continued on his way, no doubt to his mother's house. When the coast was clear, Lexi took Caleb out of the car and into the safety of the house.

As she sat down on the sofa with her son in her arms she began to shake a little. She had known returning to West Chester would be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to bother her so much. She pressed her face into the soft hair on her son's head and held him tightly as if he were her life support.

Giving in to her conscious, Lexi rang her mother and Ryan to let them know she had arrived safely. Both were keen to see her and Caleb. Vivian had visited them in California at least once a year, but it would be nice for her to spend more time with her grandson.

Ryan drove round early the next morning, excited to meet his little cousin for the first time. Tom had already left for work when Lexi opened the door to Ryan. He had hardly changed since they had least seen each other, except he had grown a beard and looked scruffier if possible.

"It's so good to see you again Alex!" he yelled, embracing her in a big bear hug.

"You too cuz." She laughed, not correcting him and squeezing him back tightly.

"Nice place you've got here, where's the little man?"

Lexi lead him into the living room where Caleb was playing with his toys.

"Caleb, this is your cousin Ryan, but for all intents and purposes it's Uncle Ryan." She added, smiling at Ryan, who had always been like a brother to her.

"Hey buddy." He grinned, taking a seat on the carpet next to Caleb.

Lexi made coffee and juice, and she and Ryan caught up with each other whilst he bonded with Caleb. She learnt that Ryan's apprenticeship had worked out well and he was now working for the local garage. In his spare time, he and the old crowd made videos of themselves performing stunts and silly escapades and surprisingly they were starting to get recognition for it. At the same time, Jess's band was taking off and had just signed a record deal. Rake had also graduated from university with a degree in chemistry, while Novak had become a drug addict.

Lexi felt a twinge of nostalgia as she listened to him talk about her old friends. Not a day had passed when she hadn't missed them, but she had been forced to move on with her life for the sake of Caleb and her own sanity.

"You should come over and see everyone." Ryan smiled. He still had the ability to read her mind.

"I don't know..." she sighed, examining her fingernails. Ryan was well aware of her reasons for leaving West Chester in the first place. She was in no hurry to return to those memories. Four years on she still wasn't sure if she was ready to face up to her past.

"Well I'm still living at home and the guys usually hang out there or at Ape's. Don't be a stranger. April would love to see you."

Lexi felt a surge of guilt at the thought of April. She had always looked to her as a second mother. She was sure that April would have understood why she went away to university, but the fact that she had not been in touch with April and Phil for four years was unforgiveable and probably a bit of an overreaction on Lexi's part. She may have felt upset and betrayed, but it was not their fault.

"I just need a little time." She told Ryan, smiling weakly.

"I understand." He replied, picking Caleb up and bouncing him gently on his knee. "He's a great kid."

Lexi grinned, and watched them play for a while, before Ryan had to leave.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone yet." She told him before he left. Only Vivian and Ryan knew that she had returned, let alone that she had brought a child back with her.

"Cross my heart." He smiled, pausing on the doorstep.

"Thank you Ryan." She replied, hugging him tightly.

"Oh and Alex..."

"Yes?"

"He looks the spitting image of his dad."**  
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	9. Unexpected Encounters

**Chapter Nine.**

Lexi , Tom and Caleb had been living in their new West Chester home for a week when Lexi turned 23. To celebrate her birthday Libby, her best friend from university, had flown over for the week. Tom had agreed to stay in and look after Caleb for the night so that Lexi could go out and let her hair down. Libby had been Lexi's rock throughout university, particularly during her first year and the pregnancy.

Since seeing Ryan the day after returning, Lexi had also caught up with her mother. However she had insisted on Vivian visiting her at their new house rather than her old home as she was still keen to avoid seeing any old faces. Vivian was beginning to lose patience with her daughter. Now that she was back in West Chester there she would have no choice but to face the truth and the longer she left it the harder it would be. Lexi was of course still as stubborn as she had been during her teenage years and was determined to do things her way.

As Lexi had never had any girlfriends back in West Chester, it would just be her and Libby hitting the town that night. She could barely remember the last time she had been out drinking, never mind clubbing, and Libby had to force her into clothes that didn't look as if they belonged in a charity shop. In the end she settled for a pair of skinny jeans and a long purple smock top that emphasised her curvy but slim figure. She had worked hard to keep in shape after having Caleb. Lexi finished her outfit off with a pair of heels that she had not worn since before her pregnancy.

They hit the bar around eleven and it was already heaving with people. Libby dragged Lexi to the bar and ordered them shots of tequila. Lexi was already light headed from the wine they had shared at home, but she was determined to enjoy herself for one night at least and if that meant keeping up with Libby's startling ability to drink, then so be it.

So far they had not seen anyone that Lexi recognised and she assumed this to be a good omen for the night. She was really beginning to let her hair down and have fun dancing and drinking with her best friend. Libby was at the bar, flirting shamelessly with a dark haired guy when Lexi returned from the toilets. Libby caught her eye and waved her over.

"Lexi, this is Brandon." She giggled, pointing at the man standing next to her.

It wasn't until Lexi approached the bar that she saw the man's face. He had grown taller, his hair was shorter and he had considerably more tattoos, but there was no mistaking him. Lexi's eyes widened but the man had beaten her to it.

"Alex! Jesus fucking Christ you've changed!"

"Hello Novak..."

Novak stared at her in shock for several seconds, apparently lost for words. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm back." She said softly, ignoring the look of confusion on Libby's face when she answered to 'Alex'.

"That's great, I had no idea!" he laughed, pulling her into a hug.

She shuddered a little, remembering Ryan telling her that Novak was now a drug addict. He did look a little peaky. Apparently Ryan had not spilled the beans just yet though, she thought, hugging him back. However, as she looked over Novak's shoulder she saw another three familiar faces, belonging to Dico, Raab and Bam. She pulled away from Novak, hoping she had not been recognised by the others.

She couldn't remember if she had told Ryan her plans for tonight. Maybe she had and he had set this up so that she would bump into the guys? Or was that just Lexi being paranoid and slightly delusional? If Ryan had wanted to he could have told them the moment she came back. He was family after all, she knew she could trust him.

"It's nice to see you again Novak, but Libby and I were just leaving." She explained rapidly finishing her drink and placing it back on the bar

"No we weren't Lexi!" Libby laughed, eyeing her friend suspiciously. Lexi was still peering over Novak's shoulder, worried she would be spotted.

"Lexi?" questioned Novak, raising his eyebrow at her.

"I felt like a change when I moved to Cali." Lexi shrugged. Truthfully, Lexi had just wanted to leave all traces of her old life behind when she had moved away and that included the nickname given to her by her best friends when she was little. Rather than return to the boring Alexandra, she had settled for Lexi.

"More feminine." Novak smiled. "I like it."

"So you two know each other?" slurred Libby, clearly beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol.

"We go way back." Novak grinned. "Speaking of which, do Bam and Ryan know you're back?"

He turned around to look at his friends, but Lexi grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back around to face her so that he could not attract their attention.

"So, what have you been up to Novak?" she smiled, trying desperately to change the subject.

Novak began to recount the past four years to her and Libby, but Lexi was not paying full attention to what he was saying as she watched what his friends were doing. They seemed to be having a great time on their table cluttered full of bottles and glasses. Ryan was howling with laughter at something Dico had said.

Lexi felt a twinge of jealously, wishing she was joining in with the fun instead of standing back here like an outsider. But this had been her choice. She knew the guys would be upset when they found out she had been back without telling them, but she could not bring herself to face up to them just yet.

Suddenly Lexi realised that Novak had finally finished talking and that he and Libby were staring at her expectantly.

"Oh uh sorry I was day dreaming." She admitted, a little sheepishly.

Novak didn't seem offended by her ignorance. He was more than likely drunk or high anyway. "I was just saying, do you two wanna join me and the guys at our table? They'll be psyched to see you."

Libby smiled at Lexi, clearly planning on taking Novak up on this offer. Lexi tried to think of an excuse but Libby had already started walking over to the table. Lexi had told her about her past when they had first become friends, but Libby had obviously forgotten about the significance of going over to that table. Maybe they wouldn't recognise her? Who was she kidding? Novak was out of his mind and was still able to recognise her.

She took a deep breath and followed slowly behind Libby and Novak. When she was close enough she caught Ryan's eye. They shared an understanding glance. Ryan could tell this was not how Lexi had planned her night to turn out, but it was too late.

"Oh my fucking God!"

"Alex!"

"What the fuuuuuuck!"

Lexi smiled as enthusiastically as she could and took a seat between Novak and Ryan.

"It's so good to see you!" Raab grinned, slamming his pint down on the table and splashing beer everywhere.

"How long have you been back?" asked Dico, grinning insanely.

"Not long." She shrugged gently, keeping her eyes trained on Dico. She was not quite ready to acknowledge the only quiet member of the group.

As the guys started ranting and raving about their disbelief at seeing her again, Lexi fell silent. Her heart was thumping away in her chest and she was starting to feel a little nauseous. She looked at Ryan hopelessly.

Ryan glanced from his cousin to his best friend. The tension was unbearable despite the fact that around them everyone else was in high spirits.

After what seemed like a life time, Dico, Raab, Novak and Libby went to get another round of drinks in, leaving Lexi, Ryan and Bam to sit in an awkward silence. If she didn't feel so sick, or if this had been under different circumstances, Lexi might have laughed at the fact that in their younger days it was impossible for the three of them to be quiet for even a few seconds.

Lexi glanced at the man sitting across from her at the table and looked into his pale blue eyes. She knew that she could not avoid this for any longer.

"Hello Bam."


	10. The Family Meal

**Chapter Ten.**

Bam shook his head and laughed at Novak who was trying his best to chat up a young woman at the bar. At least this one was attractive, he thought, sipping his beer quietly. Ryan and Dico were taking bets on whether or not Novak would actually pull, when their friend reappeared with two women behind him.

Before he had chance to look at the second woman, he heard his friends shout out in shock.

"Oh my fucking God!" yelled Raab.

"Alex!" gasped Dico.

"What the fuuuuuuck!" continued Raab.

Bam felt his jaw drop in surprise when he laid eyes on the woman standing before them. She was taller, curvier, had longer hair and looked a lot more mature, but she was still the same girl he had fallen in love with four years ago. The same girl whose heart he had broken four years ago.

Alex.

Bam could not take his eyes off her. He blinked a few times to make sure it was really her, but there was no mistaking the beautiful woman now sitting opposite him. She was definitely trying to avoid eye contact with him. Not that he could really blame her. Four years had obviously not been long enough for Alex either, if time really was a healer.

Bam let the conversation wash over him as he tried to get his head around her return. He stole brief glances at her when he didn't think anyone was looking. Why had no one told him she was back? Surely Ryan must have known? He glanced at his friend who was looking apologetically at his cousin.

After a while the others went to get drinks, leaving Bam, Ryan and Lexi to sit in an awkward silence.

"Hello Bam."

Alex's voice brought Bam out of his thoughts. He stared at her a little gormlessly before returning the greeting. Boy was this going to be awkward. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but he didn't know where to start.

"Ahhh Bam Bam! There you are!" squealed an irritating voice. Lexi looked up to see another familiar face. This one was not so welcoming however.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" demanded the woman who was now sitting on Bam's lap.

"It's lovely to see you again Jenn." Lexi smiled as fakely as she could.

"Alex." Jenn spat, not even willing to pretend. She was obviously concerned that Lexi had come to steal Bam away from her again. Well, there was no chance of that happening.

Both Bam and Ryan ignored Jenn, much to her displeasure, as the others had returned with the drinks. It was perfect timing. The conversation resumed and Bam did not get chance to speak to Lexi as Jenn occupied his full attention.

Lexi sighed quietly, remembering when she had been the one on Bam's arm. She wasn't jealous of Jenn; she just remembered when Bam had looked at her in that way. Shaking these silly thoughts from her mind, she downed her drink, remembering her pledge to have a good night. Running into Bam was not going to stop her.

"Let's go and dance." She smiled to Libby, and the two women made their way back to the dance floor, unaware that every guy at their table was staring after them.

"Oww my head." Lexi complained the next morning. She had not made it to the bedroom and had instead, passed out on the sofa.

"Tell me about it." Libby moaned from the floor next to Lexi. "What did we drink last night?"

"I think the question is not what, but how much?" Lexi shook her head and tried to find her feet.

"Coffee." Libby groaned, staggering to her own feet. "It must have been a good night."

"Don't you remember any of it?" laughed Lexi.

"I remember meeting your old friends, and Novak trying to sleep with me. But that's about it."

Lexi laughed. Despite the shock of seeing her friends, she had still had a good night. Bam and Jenn had left soon after though, which was probably why it had been good after all.

"Morning ladies." Tom smiled, coming down the stairs with Caleb in his arms. "I take it you had a good night?"

He proceeded to make them coffee and breakfast while they planned the remainder of their day.

"Ryan wants me to go over for dinner tonight." Lexi said, reading the text that had been on her phone since earlier that morning. She had ignored it to begin with, in the hope that she had simply imagined it. She was in no mood to put up with her mother's nagging.

"So, you're going?" Libby laughed at Lexi's hesitation.

"I suppose." Lexi replied. "Although I bet April and Phil are invited too." This was even more of a reason not to go.

"And?" prodded Libby.

"I don't know if I'm ready to face them yet." Lexi admitted, trying to get Bam's face out of her head. She had not told Tom that she had run into her ex that night.

"Oh for goodness sake girl, just tell them everything so you can get on with your life!"

"Well said Libby." Tom agreed, feeding Caleb his breakfast.

"Fine! I'll go! But I'm not promising you anything." Lexi gave in, as much as she hated to admit it, they were right. The longer she left it, the harder it would get.

Later that day after she had driven Libby to the airport, Lexi began to get ready for the meal. She pulled on a plain pair of jeans and a long knitted jumper, before realising she looked older than her mother in those clothes and was just asking to be teased by Ryan. In the end she settled on a casual flowery dress and black cardigan.

Once again Tom ended up babysitting Caleb. Lexi felt guilty but tonight was going to be awkward enough as it was, without adding a three year old toddler to the equation.

"Be good for Tom and I'll be home soon." Lexi smiled at Caleb, before kissing both him and Tom and heading for the car.

Lexi could feel the nervous bubbling in her stomach during the short drive to her mother's house. She felt queasy and doubted whether she'd actually be able to eat the meal. She tried rehearsing the impending conversation in her head but it made her feel even worse.

_'Hi April, Hi Phil. Just thought you should know that you're grandparents'_ was a little hard to digest.

Ryan answered the door. He had made no effort to dress for the occasion in his white vest and ripped jeans. Lexi looked at him pleadingly, in the hope he would give her a heads up about who was inside. He smiled blankly and she cursed him under her breath as she followed him indoors.

Sitting in the living room was April, Phil, Vivian, Jess and, to Lexi's horror Bam.

"Oh Alex! It's so good to see you again!" April gasped, jumping up and pulling Lexi into a tight embrace. Lexi smiled as best she could, hugging Phil once April had let her go.

Lexi smiled at Jess and she and Bam nodded in acknowledgment of each other. While Jess looked smart in a shirt and clean jeans, Bam had taken a similar stance to Ryan and was dressed in black with his hat on.

"Well, dinner's about ready if you want to make your way to the dining room." Vivian smiled, leading the way. No one seemed concerned about the awkwardness between Lexi and Bam.

"Asshole." Lexi mouthed at Ryan when no one was looking. He could have given her some warning that Bam would be there. It was one thing telling April and Phil, but Bam was a whole different matter. Ryan smiled innocently and ushered her out of the room.

As they ate their food, the conversation revolved around Lexi and what she had been doing for the past years. Bam was unusually quiet and seemed completely uninterested in everything she had to say but Lexi was not particularly bothered by his childish behaviour. She told everyone about Standford and Tom, successfully avoiding the topic of Caleb until desert.

Vivian had been trying to catch Lexi's eye all night in a failed attempt to prompt her. In the end she gave up and set the wheels in motion herself as she served the chocolate gateau.

"Oh for goodness sake Alex, don't you think it's about time you told everyone about Caleb."

Lexi froze.

"Who's Caleb?" asked April.

Everyone's eyes turned to Lexi.

She hesitated, feeling herself turning red and sweating. "My son."


	11. The Family Meal Part 2

**Chapter Eleven.**

"Your son!" April repeated, her jaw dropping in shock.

Lexi drowned out the ensuing conversation. April was gobsmacked. Phil was smiling awkwardly. Bam was staring, apparently lost for words. Lexi could feel his eyes burning into her.

"Who's the father?"

Eventually she was snapped out of her daze by April's question. Lexi could feel the bile start to rise in her throat.

"I'd rather not talk about that." She replied, staring at her hands.

April got the hint, and possibly the wrong idea, but she dropped it nonetheless. Nice save there, Lexi thought to herself. Obviously she would have to come clean sooner or later, but she planned on stalling the truth for as long as possible.

It was clear that April was upset with Vivian for not telling her before and the atmosphere in the house was becoming a little hostile, so Lexi took this opportunity to make her escape.

Lexi made her way outside in desperate need of fresh air. Her cheeks were flushed and she felt as if she might pass out. She couldn't bring herself to think about the situation she had just left inside. There would be so many unanswered questions. Maybe Vivian would take it upon herself to answer them herself. Lexi had never actually admitted that Bam was the father to Vivian, but it must have been fairly obvious if she had worked out the dates.

It was cold outside; a nice relief to Lexi's burning skin. She wished she could melt away into obscurity. She even considered climbing the fence and doing a runner, but she doubted she was fit enough to make it over the wall without being spotted. She heard footsteps approaching and saw that Ryan had also made his way outside and was looking at her with an accusing look on his face.

"What?" demanded Lexi, unaware that Bam had followed them. She turned around to see who Ryan was acknowledging and groaned, finding herself face to face with Bam.

Bam stared at her as the three old friends sat on the wall in silence. Lexi tried to ignore the two men either side of her and instead stared out into the night. How had things ended up like this? If she wasn't so distressed by the situation she probably would have started laughing. It was altogether ridiculous.

"Can we talk?" Bam asked after several moments of awkwardness. This brought Lexi back to her senses.

Lexi shrugged. "About what?"

Bam shot Ryan a meaningful glance. Ryan shook his head and went back into the house. Lexi wondered if the situation had calmed down at all. Bam was still staring at her. Seeing him in such familiar surroundings brought back painful memories.

"Just spit it out please Bam. I haven't got all night."

He looked at her sadly. Lexi was in no mood for politeness. Despite the four year absence, nothing had changed between them. He was still the boy who had broken her heart.

"I'm sorry Bam, but I don't know what you want from me?"

"It's just...a shock, you being back." He shrugged.

"Well, I'm sorry." She sighed. "I didn't mean to make life difficult for you."

"No, you spent the past ten years doing that." Bam avoided making eye contact with Lexi.

"Seriously Bam? Are you that bitter?" Lexi laughed, shaking her head. "I thought you would have moved on."

"Why did you bother coming back?" he stared at her angrily. She could feel the hatred in his words.

"It's none of your business." She spat back, matching his hostile tone.

"Maybe it's because you got yourself knocked up and now you're running back to your mom cos you can't cope!" Bam rolled his eyes as if he had already worked her out.

This hit a nerve. Lexi growled. "For your information my son is three years old and I've coped perfectly well all this time."

Bam's eyes widened and Lexi knew she should have kept her mouth shut. Surely he would do the math and realise the significance of those three years. She could feel her heart beat accelerating as the cogs in his head turned.

"Wow you didn't waste any time when you got to Cali did you." Bam sneered, looking down his nose at her.

"I moved on Bam." She replied delicately, seizing the opportunity he had presented her with. Sure, now he thought she was a whore, but it was far better than the truth.

"Well I've moved on too so I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from me." He replied, harshly.

Lexi laughed at his pettiness. "No problem. Just because we're both living in this town doesn't mean we have to be involved in each other's lives."

"Good, so stay the fuck out of mine." Bam growled, turning away.

Lexi watched him leave and shook her head. He had become so bitter. To be fair, it was partly down to her but she didn't feel particularly remorseful at the moment. If he found out the truth about Caleb, Lexi's life was going to be turned upside down. He was definitely not father material. She shuddered at the thought.

Driving home shortly after, Lexi replayed the conversation with Bam. Her mothering instinct had kicked in and she was prepared to do whatever it took to protect her son. If Bam was to find out the truth, Lexi had no idea what affect it would have on her family. She wished she had never agreed to go to the stupid meal. Seeing Bam again had only wound her up and refreshed the painful memories.

At the weekend, Lexi, Tom and Caleb went into town for the day. It was Lexi's attempt to take her mind off the meal and her run in with Bam. She was still angry about the way he had spoken to her. After parking at the shopping centre, Lexi climbed out of the car and handed Caleb over to Tom. When she turned around after locking the door her heart started to pound. April and Phil's car was parked opposite them and before she could get away, April was hurrying over to them, grinning broadly, her eyes fixed on the child in Tom's arms.

"Oh my goodness." She exclaimed once she was close enough to fully take in the sight of Caleb.

Lexi knew exactly what was going through her mind. Caleb looked just like Bam had as a child. He had exactly the same curly hair and big blue eyes. It was clear April wanted to say something, but apparently she was too shocked to find the right words. Instead she made small talk with Lexi and Tom, not taking her eyes off the little boy who looked all too familiar.

"Hi April, this is my boyfriend Tom. " Lexi introduced them, before gesturing to Caleb. "And this is Caleb."

"He's...adorable." April smiled, looking a little uneasy. "I assumed he would be a lot younger though!" Phil had caught up with April now, and appeared similarly shocked at the sight of the little boy. He went to say something but April cut him off.

"Oh yeah..." Lexi smiled awkwardly, wondering how to explain. "Well, he's three."

"Really?" April's eyes widened. She calculated the dates much faster than her son had.

Lexi nodded, wondering how she could change the conversation. April was exchanging suspicious looks with Phil.

"You should come over for tea sometime." She smiled. "All three of you. It would be lovely to spend more time with you now that you're back Alex."

Lexi smiled awkwardly. "That's nice April, but I really don't think it's a good idea. Bam..."

"Oh ignore Bam, he's a drama queen. And if he has a problem he knows where the door is."

Lexi and Tom exchanged looks. After spending her childhood with him, Lexi was well aware that whatever Bam wanted, Bam got. If that meant having nothing to do with Lexi, then that was what would happen. Not that Lexi had a problem with that, in fact, it was altogether desirable. April and Phil would be powerless to do anything about it.

Eventually Lexi managed to make their excuses before April managed to bring up the striking similarity between her son and the child. Lexi and Tom hurried away, but Lexi could still feel April's eyes on them as they headed to the shopping centre.


	12. The Midnight Intruder

**Chapter Twelve.**

All was well. Or at least Lexi presumed it was as she not heard from April or Bam for a week. She had started her new job at the local school and everything seemed to be falling into place. They had found a preschool to enrol Caleb in and Tom's job was really taking off. Tom was still adamant that she should tell Bam the truth, but Lexi argued that Tom did know Bam like she did and that it was not a good idea.

Tom had to go away on business for the week. For his sake, Lexi pretended she would be fine but truthfully she felt scared of being along with Caleb in such a big house. He suggested she should stay with Vivian while he was away but Lexi didn't think she could put up with her mother's accusing stares for that long.

"I'll be fine." She smiled as convincingly as she could as Tom waved goodbye. Ryan had agreed to pop round in the evenings to keep Lexi company, which put her at ease a little.

It was the first night without Tom and after putting Caleb to bed, Lexi snuggled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a DVD. Ryan had been round earlier and had taken Caleb to the park. He was enjoying bonding with his little cousin. Lexi knew that deep down, just like her mother, he was wondering when she was going to tell Bam.

As the film started to play, Lexi cleared her mind and tried to relax. The last week had been fine who was to say this one would be any different. Bam had probably forgotten she was back. Maybe April had convinced herself she had been mistaken.

All of a sudden, Lexi heard a loud thump from upstairs. She sat very still, trying not to make a sound when her thoughts went straight to her son. Caleb was fast asleep upstairs. Lexi jumped off the sofa and headed upstairs on tiptoe, trying not to disturb whatever or whoever was there.

She made her way to the top of the stairs cautiously. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her mouth was dry with fear. To her horror, at the end of the landing, just outside Caleb's room was a shadowy figure. Lexi gasped and switched on the light. She was met with a familiar set of eyes.

"Bam, what the fuck are you doing here?" she demanded, staring in shock at the intruder.

"I don't really know." He shrugged sheepishly.

"You broke into my house!" she exclaimed, her legs trembling a little from the fright. She never imagined she would ever be so relieved to see Bam's face again. "You scared the crap out of me!" she continued, starting to laugh a little and forgetting how annoyed she was with him.

"Sorry about that. I didn't think you'd let me in if I used the front door."

Lexi shrugged. He was right. "But what do you want that is so important you have to break into my house in the middle of the night?"

Bam looked at her as if he was debating how to begin his story. He brushed some leaves out of his tangled mess of hair and wiped the dirt off his jeans. "I wanted to see the kid." Bam sighed.

Lexi's eyes widened and she felt her throat tighten. "Why?" Had April said something or had Bam worked out the dates himself?

"To see if what Ape said was true." Bam replied, as if Lexi should know what April had said.

Lexi raised her eyebrow pressing for Bam to continue. She had a funny feeling she knew what was coming.

"Ape reckons..." Bam began, looking a little worried. "She reckons that your kid..."

"Caleb." Lexi corrected him and folded her arms across her chest.

"Caleb..." Bam repeated. "She says he looks like me."

Lexi felt the blood rush back to her head and her legs felt like jelly. It was now or ever, she thought. It was the perfect opportunity. She had the upper hand. Surely it was best to get everything out in the open, like Tom said, so that they could get on with the rest of their lives.

"Alex?" Bam was staring at her oddly, as if she had something on her face. Her terror must have shown.

"Don't forget I'm mad at you." Lexi glared at him. "But you better come downstairs."

Bam accepted the impromptu invitation and followed Lexi back down the stairs and into the living room. They sat awkwardly at either ends of the sofa and Lexi brushed her hands through her hair in exasperation.

"Would you like some wine?" she offered, glancing at the bottle on the table.

"Will it help digest this conversation?" Bam joked. Lexi nodded.

She hurried into the kitchen to retrieve another glass, giving herself time to rehearse what to say. No matter how she put it, the truth was going to be hard to swallow. In the end she returned to the living room handing Bam the wine and she took a deep breath.

"There's no easy way to say this so please don't interrupt. You're not going to like what you hear but if you listen to me I will try to explain why it's taken this long for me to tell you. Caleb is you son. The night before I left for Cali and we slept together...that's when it happened. I didn't find out for weeks, and when I did I panicked. I hated you so much and I was so bitter that I didn't want to tell you. It took me months to even tell my mom. I knew there was no way I could have a termination."

Lexi paused to look at Bam's expression. It was blank so she continued.

"After Caleb was born my mom came over to see us. I made her swear not to tell you. I thought it was for the best. It had been nearly a year since we'd seen each other and we had no contact. There was no way anything would work out between us. I was living at the other side of the country and you were touring. I really thought it was for the best. And after a year or two it was too complicated to say anything. I didn't think you'd understand why I'd kept it from you."

Bam opened his mouth. "I can't believe this." He said throwing his head into his hands.

"I know it doesn't change anything, but I am sorry." Lexi sighed.

"So what you're saying is, I have a three year old kid I've never even seen?" Bam looked up at her.

Lexi nodded quietly, surprised at how calmly Bam seemed to be taking the news.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. I could have done something, I could have helped."

"No you couldn't Bam, it was an impossible situation. We were still just kids ourselves. Your life would have turned out completely different if you'd known about him."

"So what were you going to do when he grows up and wants to know who his dad is?" Bam asked, looking thoroughly distressed.

Lexi shrugged. "I admit it was not the best of plans and I hadn't thought it through that well."

"Were you planning on telling me when you came back to West Chester?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Yes. I just didn't know how to."

Bam stood up. It had been the calm before the storm. Of course he was going to kick off. He was furious with her for keeping this secret. He tugged at his hair in frustration and seemed to look around the room as if he was in search of something to kick or smash. Lexi held her breath and waited but the anger never came. Instead, Bam collapsed back on the sofa and started to cry.

Lexi widened her eyes. She would have preferred it if he had trashed the house. She didn't know how to deal with tears. As much as she hated him, she knew she was in the wrong this time and had really hurt him by keeping Caleb's existence from him.

"Bam..." she murmured, moving closer to him. His head was in his hands but she could hear him sobbing quietly. Instinctively her hand moved to his hair and she began to stroke it. "Bam..." She didn't know what to say. There were no words in the world that could make this any better. She decided to keep her mouth shut.

"I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to think or feel or do..." Bam exclaimed, lifting his head a little. "I can't deal with this."

Lexi removed her hand and nodded. She hadn't expected the guilt to feel this bad and she didn't know what to do either.

"Do you want to see him?" Lexi asked tentatively, unsure of whether or not this was a good idea.

Bam looked up and met her eyes. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes." She smiled and took his hand.

They went back upstairs and Lexi opened the door of Caleb's room gesturing for Bam to go ahead. He looked back at her a little nervously but she smiled reassuringly. He walked slowly towards the bed and stopped in his tracks once he caught sight of the little boy. Lexi could tell he was stunned. She hesitated for a second before making her way back downstairs so that Bam could have a little space to come to terms with this bombshell.

"He looks like me." Bam said a little shell shocked, after returning downstairs.

Lexi nodded and motioned for him to join her on the sofa. "So April was right."

"Looks like it." Bam laughed a little and rubbed at his eyes. "Man this is..."

"Fucked up." Lexi finished his sentence for him, grinning a little.

Bam smiled and finished his glass of wine.

They talked for the next few hours about what they had been up to for the past four years and Bam asked millions of questions about Caleb. Lexi was surprised by how well they were getting on despite the shock for Bam of learning he was a father. Before they knew it, they had gotten through two bottles of wine.

When they could barely keep their eyes open, Lexi offered a very grateful Bam the sofa as she didn't want him drinking and driving.


	13. Babysitting

**Chapter Thirteen.**

Lexi came downstairs the next morning to see Bam still fast asleep on the sofa. Rather than wake him, she went straight to the kitchen and prepared some coffee. She had a feeling they would both be needing it. She waited at the kitchen table for him to stir. The sight of him sleeping on her sofa had brought back memories and she felt a little uneasy being around him again.

Eventually the smell of the coffee directed Bam into the kitchen, where he pulled up a seat next to Lexi and drank his coffee enthusiastically.

"How's your head?" she asked, after he had finished his mug.

"It's been worse." He laughed. "And yours?"

"Not so bad." She smiled, pulling her dressing gown tighter around her. She felt strangely vulnerable around Bam this morning.

"I'd better get going." Bam sighed. "I suppose I should let Ape and Phil know."

Lexi nodded, feeling a little awkward. "They're going to hate me." She groaned.

Bam shook his head. "I don't hate you. I'm just a little bit upset it's taken this long to tell me."

Lexi looked at him shyly. "If you want to keep in touch, here's my number." She pressed a small piece of paper into his hand.

She had been debating all morning whether or not to give him the option and let him take control of the situation but it was the least she could do. If he had her number he could decide whether or not he wanted anything to do with them.

"Thanks." He smiled, holding her hand a little as she passed him the paper.

Lexi stood at the doorway and watched him leave. She couldn't help but wonder where things would go from here.

Needless to say April was more than a little pissed off that she only just discovered that she had a three year old grandson. The day after Lexi had given Bam her number, she received a call from him asking if she would take Caleb round to April's. Lexi knew she had no choice, but it didn't stop her from feeling anxious.

She spent the afternoon watching April and Phil bond with Caleb and avoiding glares from April. Bam was nowhere to be seen and Lexi felt strangely disappointed, however Caleb kept everyone entertained. He was learning new words every day and by now you could have a proper conversation with him. Before leaving, a text came through from Bam.

_Meet me for coffee 2moz at 2? Love B x_

Lexi's stomach began performing somersaults. She text him back to say she would be there and took this opportunity to ask April and Phil if they would like to have Caleb that afternoon. They were more than happy to have him and Lexi hoped that she would win them back over if they spent lots of time with him.

The next day after dropping Caleb off at April's house, Lexi drove to the coffee shop. She spotted Bam's car and was surprised to see that he was already waiting for her in the cafe. She pulled up a seat opposite him and smiled. She had decided to dress casually, in a checked shirt, skinny black jeans and her converse. Bam looked up at her and grinned. He was wearing a black blazer over his shirt and baggy jeans. Lexi tried to avoid meeting his eyes. Those eyes that were still enough to make her melt in her spot. She was determined to do her best to be civil to the father of her child, no matter how much he annoyed her.

"What's up?" she greeted him.

"Thanks for coming." Bam smiled quietly, staring at her.

"No problem." She replied, wondering what he wanted. It had only partly been the curiosity that had caused her to agree to meeting up. The rest of it had been something much deeper. They ordered drinks and chatted briefly before Bam turned to Lexi with a serious look on his face.

"So, now I know I have a kid, I kinda want to be involved." Bam told her, a little unsure.

Lexi stared at him in surprise. "You do?"

Bam nodded, looking at her in earnest. "I know I need to prove myself and everything but I think the least you can do is give me a chance."

Lexi let out a heavy breath. He was right. "Ok."

"So." Bam said, ignoring his coffee. "What do you think?"

If she was honest, Lexi thought it was a bad idea, and she was convinced that he would mess it up, but like he said, the least she could do was to give him a chance.

"You can babysit Caleb tomorrow night." Lexi decided, without thinking this through properly.

Bam did not hesitate and broke out in a massive grin. "Thank you."

Lexi nodded and sipped her coffee. "Don't mess this up Bam." She told him seriously. "We might have messed things up in the past but I am not going to give you the chance to mess things up with your son. Prove you can stand up to the mark and be a dad otherwise you won't have anything to do with him."

Bam nodded. "I understand Alex, I won't let you or Caleb down this time."

"You better not." Lexi warned him. "You can come round at six tomorrow night."

Bam made a mental note and promised to be there. Lexi knew much better than to believe a word that came out of his mouth but resolved to see whether or not her would live up to his word this time.

The following night at ten to six, Lexi couldn't help but stare at the clock in anticipation. Tom was still not back and Ryan had invited her out for a few drinks. That is, if Bam turned up. Lexi was more than a little anxious about leaving her son in the less than capable hands of Bam Margera, but at the end of the day he was his father and there was nothing she could do about that.

The second the clock chimed six, there was a knock on the door and Lexi opened it to the sight of Bam holding a box of toys.

"Hi." Bam smiled a little nervously. "I brought presents."

She laughed. "Come in." Lexi greeted him, letting him in and following into the living room where Caleb was playing with Lego blocks.

Lexi was all ready to go out. She had made a bit of an effort in a pair of heels and nice top. She had curled her long brown hair and applied a bit of makeup. She turned to Bam who was sitting on the floor next to her little boy.

"His bedtime is seven. Good luck."

Bam looked up at Lexi, expecting more instructions but she simply grinned and kissed he son goodbye, leaving him to chatter away to his new friend.

"I won't be late." She added, taking note of the terrified expression on Bam's face. This truly was his chance to prove himself.

"I can't believe you've left Bam with Caleb." Ryan said, shaking his head as Lexi climbed into his car.

"Neither can I." Lexi sighed, "But I need to give him a chance don't I?"

Ryan nodded. "But tonight is your chance to let your hair down and have a good time."

"Thanks." She smiled at her cousin as he drove into town.

Later that night Lexi climbed out of the taxi outside her house and stumbled up the drive to the front door. She was more than a little tipsy, but predominantly anxious to see how well Bam and her son had coped with one another.

To her surprise, on opening the living room door she was greeted by the sight of a floor covered in toys. Her breath quickened at the mess, wondering what on earth they had gotten up to but she was instantly relieved as her eyes fell on the couch. Bam was fast asleep on the sofa with Caleb tucked protectively up in his arms, similarly in a deep sleep. The two of them looked so content and peaceful it shocked Lexi.

Evidently the night had gone fairly smoothly. She had told Bam she wouldn't be late but it was two o clock in the morning. She wondered how long they had been asleep for. Rather than wake them, Lexi kicked off her shoes and made a space for herself on the end of the sofa. It didn't take long before she too had fallen asleep.

The next morning Lexi awoke to find herself being jumped upon by Caleb.

"It looks like mommy had a rough night." A voice teased from the kitchen.

It took a few seconds for Lexi to realise that Bam was still in her house. She was surprised to smell that he was making breakfast and even more surprised to see that Caleb had been washed and dressed.

"Ugh." She moaned, coming to discover just how much of a hangover she was inflicted with. Her head was literally banging and the room was still spinning from the night before. How much had she drunk?

"Coffee?" Bam presented her with a hot mug of very strong coffee. Cartoons were playing on the television and Caleb seemed quite happy, dividing his time between jumping on his mother and watching Bam in the kitchen.

"Thank you." Lexi murmured, propping herself up on the sofa and watching bemused at the interaction between Bam and Caleb.

It appeared that Caleb had taken to Bam straight away. He could sometimes be shy around strangers but with Bam he was unfazed, following him around all over the kitchen and asking him incessant questions.

"Go have a shower, I've got this covered." Bam grinned, acknowledging the look of amazement on Lexi's face and scooping Caleb into his arms.


	14. Father and Son

**Chapter Fourteen.**

As Lexi showered, her mind was racing. She had not expected Bam's babysitting to go so smoothly. In fact, she had been worrying about it so much that night that Ryan had plied her with wine to help her relax. She must remember to blame him for the horrendous hangover she was currently experiencing.

Now that Bam had gotten through the first test she wasn't quite sure what came next. Lexi was aware that this was the second night that Bam had spent at her house, but strangely she had no desire for him to leave just yet. Caleb was fixated on this new house guest and Lexi was sure he would be upset if Bam left anytime soon.

After getting dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoody, Lexi approached Bam who had just served her up a plate of pancakes.

"Would you like to stay for a bit?" Lexi asked tentatively. "You're welcome to have a shower."

"Thanks." Bam's eyes met hers and Lexi had to look a way for fear she would crumble under his gaze. They ate in silence, before Bam made his way quietly upstairs to have a shower.

Lexi remembered he didn't have any clean clothes with him and made her way upstairs to offer him a spare t-shirt. Unbeknownst to her, Bam was in her bedroom with only a towel on. Lexi stared at him, her mouth hanging open. She was embarrassed but could not bring herself to look away from his body.

"Uh, sorry." She said quickly, turning away and hurrying back downstairs. Her face felt flushed and she hoped her red cheeks would disappear before Bam came back downstairs. The last thing she wanted was for him to imagine that she had felt something for him just then.

They spent the rest of the morning engrossed in Caleb's cartoons and listening to him as he explained who each character was.

"He's a handful isn't he. " Bam laughed affectionately, watching as Caleb ran around the room, re-enacting his cartoons.

"He takes after his father." Lexi admitted, trying not to make eye contact with Bam.

"Alex." Said Bam quietly, trying not to disturb Caleb from his shows.

"Mmhmm." She replied, glancing at him briefly.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me a chance. I know I didn't really deserve one after the way I spoke to you at the meal the other week."

Lexi shrugged. "Neither of us is exactly innocent."

Bam nodded slightly and looked at his phone. "I've gotta go, things to do."

Lexi suspected this was Jenn, but she didn't say anything. He was obviously round her little finger. Bam looked a little torn.

"I really don't want to go though."

Although she would never admit it, Lexi didn't want him to go either. It had been quite moving, watching Caleb finally bonding with his father. She remained silent.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked, standing up with Caleb in his arms.

"I'm working tomorrow." She told him, thinking how great it was to be able to work part time. She only worked three days of the week so she could spend the rest of the time with her son. Seeing the look of disappointment on Bam's face, she quickly added. "He's at nursery school until three but you could pick him up when he finishes?"

Bam's face lit up again. "I'll be there."

Lexi stared at him, hoping she could trust him again. "I finish at three too, so just drop him off here when the two of you have had enough."

Bam and Caleb grinned at one another. "See you tomorrow then." Bam smiled, handing his son back to Lexi.

"Say bye to Bam." Lexi smiled at her son, who started waving. She was not ready to give him the title of 'daddy' just yet. He still had a lot to prove.

The next day at work, Lexi couldn't help but worry whether or not Bam would remember to show up. When it came to three, she made her way to the school office and telephoned Caleb's nursery just to ensure he had been collected. Relief washed over her when the lady informed her that he had indeed been picked up by his father.

Lexi drove straight home and got as much housework done as she could before Bam brought Caleb back. At five o clock she was just starting to wonder what they had gotten up to when she received a text from Bam.

_Dinner with my parents tonight? Love B x_

Lexi laughed. She was sure April had orchestrated this so that she could spend more time with her grandson. Not that Lexi minded, she hadn't any plans to cook herself that night anyway. She told Bam she would be round in an hour and went upstairs to change out of her work clothes.

Dinner was a much more relaxed affair than the previous family meal. April doted on Caleb while Bam, Phil and Lexi chatted over the delicious food. April was still an amazing cook.

"I've not seen Bam this happy in years." April told Lexi quietly as they washed up after dinner. The boys were in the living room playing with toys. "I think having this responsibility will do him good."

Lexi nodded. "I have to admit I'm surprised at how good he is with Caleb."

April smiled. "We all are Alex, he's full of surprises."

"I'd better get going, I have work in the morning." Lexi sighed, getting up off the sofa. "And it's your bedtime mister."

Caleb frowned and shook his head. "I want to stay here." It was going to be one of those difficult nights, Lexi could tell.

"Maybe some other time." She smiled, glancing at April and Phil who both nodded happily.

"But I want Bam to put me to bed." Caleb sulked. Lexi's eyes widened. He would never let Tom put him to bed and had always insisted on Lexi, but now he was asking for Bam?

Lexi turned around and saw that Bam was similarly surprised.

"If you mom doesn't mind then sure, I'll come and put you to bed." Bam told his son, looking hesitantly at Lexi. "I'll get a cab back or something." He added.

"I've not got a problem with that." Lexi replied, putting Caleb's coat and shoes back on.

"Great, I'll just go grab a jacket."

Bam climbed into the front passenger seat of Lexi's car, while Caleb was fastened in the back. She pulled out of the drive and was just making her way onto the main road when she saw a car turn in the direction of Bam's house. She got a brief glimpse of the driver and was sure it was Jenn. Lexi glanced at Bam, but he appeared not to have noticed so she didn't mention it.

Back at home, Lexi got Caleb ready for bed and then left Bam to read him a story and tuck him in. She poured herself a glass of wine in the meantime and did a little planning for her lessons tomorrow. Inevitably though, her mind kept wandering back to Bam. It amazed her how well the two of them had been getting on. She thought she might almost consider him a friend again.

Bam returned from putting his son to bed and made to leave. "I'm gonna go for a drink with the guys." He told her when she offered to ring him a taxi.

As they stood in the doorway ready to say their goodbyes, Lexi lost control and found herself kissing Bam softly on the cheek. Bam looked taken aback and touched his hand to the spot where her lips had met his skin.

"Thank you Bam."

"What for?"

"I don't think I've ever seen Caleb this happy. He loves spending time with you." She admitted.

"Thank you for letting me spend time with him." Bam smiled.

He touched her arm briefly and Lexi had to fight not to let it show when her body shuddered from the electricity between them. Had it returned?

"Good night Alex."

"Good night Bam."

That night, Lexi fell asleep with thoughts of Bam on her mind. She felt a little unnerved especially when she awoke from dreaming about him too.


	15. Parental Bonding

**Chapter Fifteen.**

Tom was back from working away and it was a relief to have company in the house. Lexi had told him about everything that had happened with Bam over the past week. Everything that is, apart from the two nights he had stopped over. She was not sure why she had failed to mention this to him. He seemed happy that Bam finally knew the truth and Lexi thought it was best to leave it at that.

After picking Caleb up from nursery, Lexi realised she had a text on her phone.

_Would Caleb and mom like to go to the park? Love B x_

Lexi smiled. She had so much housework to do, but it was a nice sunny day despite the wind, and Lexi felt in need of some fresh air after a full day on the hot, stuffy classroom. She had considered taking a walk with Caleb anyway.

_We'll see you there. x_

Lexi could not see what harm it would do in spending time with Bam at the park. Tom wouldn't be home until late and he had said that it was good that Bam was spending plenty of time with Caleb. The park wasn't far away so she and Caleb walked there. Bam was waiting for them. Caleb ran excitedly over to greet Bam, before getting him to push him on the swings.

As Caleb played, Lexi and Bam talked. She felt relaxed as they watched their son having fun. Bam seemed to have matured over the past few weeks, she felt as if they could have a proper conversation without winding up back in the past.

Bam spoke briefly about Jenn. Lexi discovered they had been officially dating for the past three years and tried not to let it bother her. Bam seemed to have done a good job of keeping Jenn and Lexi away from one another recently.

"So how does Jenn feel about you having a son?" Lexi asked out of curiosity. She wasn't trying to stir anything.

Bam shrugged. "She'll get used to it."

Lexi left it at that. From his tone she assumed that Jenn was not best pleased about the revelation, but it did not bother her, in fact she found it quite funny. That was for Bam to deal with.

Lexi and Bam sat on a bench as they watched Caleb play in the sand pit. Bam asked when he could next see Caleb. It was only Tuesday, and Caleb was staying for the night at April and Phil's on Thursday while Lexi went out with her old friends. She wondered if Bam would be joining them, but did not say anything.

"I'm working on Thursday but you could have him for the day as he's staying over at yours that night anyway." She thought, trying to work out her busy schedule.

Bam agreed. Lexi had learnt that he was still skateboarding and had started to make skate videos, so his work was pretty flexible which made it easier for him to see Caleb. She wasn't really sure where they were supposed to go from this point. Bam had definitely proven himself and had spent a great amount of time with Caleb. However, Lexi was determined not to rush into anything. If Bam was going to be a permanent part of Caleb's life she needed to be positive he would not mess things up.

"We should get going before it gets dark." Lexi told Bam, calling her son back from the sand pit.

"I'll give you a lift, it's getting cold."Bam said, sweeping up Caleb and putting him on his shoulders.

"Thank you." She smiled, watching her son's happy little face as his father carried him to the car.

As Bam drove, he and Lexi listened to Caleb chatter away about how much he loved the park. Occasionally they would exchange amused glances when he said something really funny.

"I've got three tickets for the zoo." Bam whispered and grinned after pulling up outside the house. "I thought we could go for the day out next Saturday?"

Lexi couldn't stop herself from smiling as she unfastened her seat belt. "That would be lovely Bam. Caleb's never been to the zoo before!" Once again she lost control of her actions as she reached over to hug him.

Bam returned the hug surprisingly tightly and for a few seconds their bodies were closer than they had been for four years. As she came back to her senses, Lexi pulled away and picked up her handbag.

"Thank you for the lift Bam."

"No problem, I'll pick him up before you go to work on Thursday."

Lexi took Caleb out of the car and let Bam kiss him goodbye before they headed into the house. They waved from the doorstep as Bam pulled away. Lexi could help thinking how nice the hug had been.

She decided to wear a black dress on Thursday night. They were only going to the local bar but she felt like making a bit of an effort. She let her hair down and curled it and even wore heels. Tom had been invited but he had lots of paperwork to catch up on so he stayed at home instead.

Caleb was already at April and Phil's as Bam had been looking after him for the day, so Ryan picked her up at eight and they headed into town.

"Who'll be there tonight?" she asked him from the passenger seat.

"Just the usual I suspect. Dico, Novak etc." He replied, nodding his head to the music that was blaring from his stereo.

Sure enough when they arrived in the bar, Dico, Novak, Raab and Rake were already sitting at the bar. Ryan bought Lexi a drink and they found a table that was big enough to accommodate their group. It was the same bar that Lexi had first run into Bam in on the night of her birthday.

After nearly an hour of drinking and catching up, Lexi started to wonder if Bam would show up. She wasn't sure why she was so bothered, it just seemed a little weird not having him around with the others.

Just as these thoughts crossed her mind, she heard the door swing open and everyone turned around to see Bam making his way over.

"Sorry I'm late guys." He smiled, without making any excuses.

"You look tired dude." Raab commented. There were black rings under his eyes.

"Busy day." Bam grinned, taking a seat in between Lexi and Ryan.

After the waiter had taken his order of drinks, Bam turned to Lexi and told her what h and Caleb had gotten up to. Apparently they had been into town for ice cream and then to the lake to feed the ducks, followed by a quick stop at the park and then lunch at McDonalds.

"No wonder you're tired." She exclaimed, amazed at his energy.

Bam laughed.

"I still can't get over the fact that you two have got a kid." Rake shook his head. "I remember back in the day you were the worst out of all of us. Talk about bad influences!"

Lexi couldn't help but laugh at Rake's comment and Bam chuckled to himself.

"I know, right!" agreed Raab. "It's insane!"

No one had commented on the fact that Lexi had kept her son's existence a secret for three years and she was extremely grateful for this. The guys had welcomed her back with open arms and in some ways it felt as if she had never left.

By the end of the night Lexi was considerably drunk and Bam and Ryan took her home in a taxi. Ryan waited in the cab whilst Bam walked her to the door and made sure she got in safely.

"Night Bam." She told him, kissing him briefly on the cheek again.

"Night Alex." He replied, before she closed the door.

Bam waited at the door for a few seconds after Alex had closed it. Once again he brought his hand to the spot where she had kissed him. He couldn't quite believe the way things had turned out. He had never for a second imagined that they would ever be able to be civil to one another again but now it was almost as if they were friends.

He knew he should be angry with Alex for not telling him about his son, but somehow he could not quite work up that emotion. Spending time with her had brought all the memories flooding back, but he tried not to dwell on them, reminding himself that the past was the past. The only thing they had in common was their son, and they had to get on for his sake.

If he was honest, deep down he still had feelings for her; feelings that would never go away, no matter what happened between the two of them. He would have liked to think that she too still had feelings for him but it was highly unlikely after the way he had fucked her over in the past. She had well and truly moved on with her life.

Unable to take his mind off Alex, he got back into the taxi and poured his heart out to his best friend.

Lexi and Ryan sat in Vivian's living room on the Friday evening. Tom had had to leave for work all of a sudden that morning and wouldn't be back until at least Monday night. This time Lexi wasn't lying when she told him she would be fine. She had plenty of support around her now.

"So, Bam and Caleb seem to be getting on well." Ryan grinned while flicking through the TV channels.

"Yeah I guess." Lexi replied, sipping her coffee.

"And what about you and Bam?" he continued, raising an eyebrow.

"What about us?" Lexi asked, wondering where this was going.

"You've been getting on well too haven't you?" Ryan was grinning even more now.

"I guess." Lexi admitted. "It's weird, like we've forgotten all the shit in the past and we're just dealing with the present."

Ryan nodded. "And are you looking forward to your big day out tomorrow?"

"Oh, yes." Lexi replied, wishing Ryan would stop with the twenty questions.

"Come on Alex, spit it out. Tell me what you're really thinking." Ryan pressed her, knowing that eventually she would crack. She had always confided in Ryan since they were kids, and he was the first person she told when she found out she was pregnant.

Lexi sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide anything from Ryan, he knew her far too well. She had not even admitted these feelings to herself.

"I don't get angry when I look at him anymore. I feel weird, like I did when we were teenagers. I get goose bumps if we touch and I can't look him in the eye for fear that I'm gonna melt. I've dreamt about him every night for the past month, and I can't even admit this to myself cos I'm so scared that I'll fall for him again."

"Sounds like you already have."

Lexi shook her head.

"I saw the way you two were looking at each other last night." Ryan explained.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about him, it doesn't change a thing." Lexi told her cousin firmly.

"That's what you think." Ryan shook his head. "Just you wait and see."


	16. Dinner Date

**Chapter Sixteen.**

Bam picked Lexi and Caleb up bright and early on Saturday morning. They had kept their destination a secret from Caleb until they pulled up at the zoo. Needless to say the little boy was ecstatic and his parents would have their work cut out with his ensuing hyperactivity.

"This feels really weird." Lexi admitted as they watched a family of monkeys swinging in the trees.

"What does?" Bam asked, puzzled.

"This... me and you and Caleb."

"Like a family?" Bam looked at her.

"Yeah." She admitted, picking Caleb up so he could get a better view. She moved forward from Bam so she could not see the look on his face.

A passing family asked if Lexi would take their photo and in return offered to take a picture of Lexi, Bam and Caleb on Lexi's phone. She realised that they must look like a young family. As they posed for the photo, Lexi felt Bam put his arm gently around her waist.

Every now and then, when Lexi relaxed and enjoyed herself, she forgot everything that had happened between her and Bam and it almost felt as if everything was as it should be. She had never left him. They joked and teased one another all day and Lexi tried to shake off the overwhelming urge she felt to kiss him.

By late afternoon the three of them were exhausted and Caleb was sound asleep in the back of the car for entire journey home. Lexi and Bam sat in a comfortable silence.

"Alex, let me take you out for dinner tonight?" Bam asked as he pulled up in front of her house.

Lexi hesitated, staring at him in surprise. This was not like Bam. As much as she wanted to go deep down, she needed an excuse not to go, but she couldn't think of one.

"Ape will have Caleb. Just say yes, please?"

Lexi forgot her inhibitions at the look of hope on Bam's face, and agreed. "I need to shower and change though." She told him, glancing at her watch.

"I'll take Caleb back to mine and I'll pick you up in an hour." He smiled, watching her jump out of the car and kiss Caleb goodbye.

An hour was not enough time for Lexi to feel ready for Bam to take her out to dinner but she did not let it stop her from trying. She felt nervous, which was ridiculous really because this wasn't a date or anything, was it? She couldn't help but wonder if she was making a mistake by going. But they had had a good time together and why let it end at the zoo? Couldn't two friends go out for food together?

Lexi let the hot water rush over her body. As she washed herself she realised she had lost a lot of weight. It must have been down to the stress of moving back to West Chester, she thought. She had never been confident about her body, especially as a teenager. She noticed how flat her stomach had become. After having Caleb she had tried to stay in shape but this was definitely the thinnest she had been since becoming pregnant.

As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, Lexi wondered why she had agreed to go out with Bam tonight. If Tom had been home she wouldn't have accepted. For some reason she was glad Tom was away although it made her feel guilty for even thinking it. They had not slept together since moving and although this was mainly down to Lexi, Tom did not seem to care, which bothered her even more. Their relationship had started to grow dull and boring, as much as Lexi hated to admit it to herself. Perhaps it was just the excitement of seeing Bam again that was giving her butterflies in her stomach.

After drying her hair and curling it, she slipped on a purple smock dress and tights, subconsciously aware that this was Bam's favourite colour. She had just enough time to apply some makeup when she heard a knock at the door and hurried downstairs to meet Bam. He too had dressed up for the occasion in a smart purple shirt and jeans without holes.

"Wow." He couldn't help but grin as he looked Lexi up and down.

Lexi tried desperately not to blush as he opened the car door to let her in, reminding herself that this was not a date. They drove in silence to the other side of town and Lexi's butterflies were increasing as they parked at an expensive looking restaurant. This was not like Bam at all, Lexi thought as she followed him inside. The waiter sat them at a cosy table for two at the back of the room and they sat watching one another, not quite sure what to say or do.

"I don't mean to drag up the past, but there's a few things I really need to know." Bam said quietly, after they had ordered their food. "I want tonight to be about us. I need to fix things."

Lexi nodded. He was entitled to a few answers and she would give anything to be able to fix what was broken between the two of them.

"Would you have gone to Cali if I hadn't hurt you?" he asked, staring at her intently.

"Yes, probably. I might have come home for the holidays though." She admitted as the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile.

Bam's eyes twinkled. "I believed for ages that you would come back you know. But after a year I realised it was just wishful thinking. I'd ruined everything."

Lexi sighed sadly, remembering all the times she had been close to picking up the phone so she hear his voice.

"I missed you so much." She told him. "It hurt so much."

Bam nodded. "When the realisation set in that you weren't coming back I hated you. I think it was just my way of dealing with it. But now that you're back and I can see your face again and I know how much you've been through, I don't hate you at all."

"You should hate me for keeping Caleb a secret from you."

Bam shook his head. "How could I hate you for bringing my kid into the world?"

"I'm sorry I left you. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have reacted so badly if you hadn't been my best friend. I trusted you with my life and that night made me realise I had no idea who I was anymore, let alone who you were."

Bam looked at the floor. "Why did you really come back?"

"For Tom's job. I'm not saying I would never have come back, but if it wasn't for his transfer I just don't know."

Bam looked hurt. Lexi took his hand from across the table.

"I know what I did was wrong, but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own and that I didn't need anything from anyone. You've shown me over the past month just how wrong I was and I will never forgive myself for taking those years with Caleb away from you."

"So now what?"

Lexi realised she was ready to let the past remain buried and move on. "We've both done things to hurt each other and that we regret, so let's forget about the past and concentrate on the future."

"I'll drink to that." Bam smiled, pouring Lexi another glass of wine.

"But speaking of the past, you never took me out like this when we were dating." She teased. The wine was helping her to relax.

"I was only eighteen and pretty much skint." He laughed, trying to make up excuses as their food arrived.

"Well I'll let you make up for it now." She giggled.

They continued to talk and relive happy memories as they ate, not mentioning their respective partners once. Bam told her about how he was making videos for Jess's band with the rest of the guys and that he was starting to gain some recognition from it.

"I don't want to go home." Bam told her with a heavy sigh, when the bill came.

"Neither do I." She admitted, staring at her empty wine glass. The alcohol had gone to her head and she was a little giddy. She couldn't explain how she felt, there were no words to describe it, but she knew she didn't want it to end anytime soon. Like Bam had said, tonight was about the two of them. It couldn't hurt to forget about everything else just for one night.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

Lexi nodded a little shyly and Bam held out his hand for her to follow him out of the restaurant. They got back into Bam's car and drove for what seemed like hours. Eventually Bam pulled up near some woods and got out of the car. Lexi looked at him questioningly but he just grinned. Realising they were probably in for a walk, Lexi kicked off her heels and jumped out of the car.

Bam looked down at her bare feet and laughed. "Piggy back?"

Lexi grinned. "If you think you're strong enough."

She went to stand behind Bam and put her hands on his shoulders. In one smooth movement Bam had picked her up by her legs and was supporting her on his back as if it was no effort at all.

"Ok, so you're strong enough!" she laughed, and wrapped her arms around his neck as he headed into the woods. The feeling of his hands on her bare legs was enough to make her weak at the knees. It was a good job he was carrying her.

"Where are we going?" she asked him. It was pitch black and all she could see were trees. Occasionally she would have to duck her head to avoid getting hit by overgrown branches. When she did she found herself nuzzling into Bam's neck. He smelt so good.

Bam did not answer her until they had reached their destination. They had come to a clearing in the woods, enclosed by huge trees and filled with exotic looking flowers. The moon was the only source of light but Lexi recognised it as somewhere they had played together as children. There was tyre hanging from one of the trees, leftover from their childhood.

"I wanted to get away from everything and everyone." Bam told her, setting her down on the ground. "Just you and me."

Lexi smiled, walking around so that she was face to face with him. "It's even more beautiful than I remember."

The forest floor was dusty from the dry summer, but Lexi had never been bothered about getting dirty. They sat down, leaning against a tree. Lexi shivered a little as a gust of wind howled through the woods. Bam shuffled closer to her but she pretended not to notice the lack of distance between their bodies.

"This might sound a little crazy." Bam said nervously. "But can I kiss you?"


	17. Lustful Reconciliation

**Chapter Seventeen**

Lexi stared at Bam in surprise. She could barely see his face in the moonlight. Despite the electricity between them that evening, she had not expected Bam to feel the same overwhelming urge as she did. Before her brain could engage and restrain her, Lexi was nodding shyly and edging closer and closer towards the painfully attractive man next to her. Bam moved forward as if he was going to kiss her cheek, but at the last minute he raised a hand to her face and turned her head so that their lips could meet. The kiss was only brief but as Lexi pulled away she felt dizzy. How could something so wrong feel so right?

Bam appeared to be thinking the same thing and Lexi allowed him to pull her back into another deeper, longer kiss. As their mouths collided, any inhibitions Lexi had felt about spending time with Bam drifted away. This was what she wanted, she thought, running her fingers through Bam's soft curls. It took her by surprise at how similar his hair felt to Caleb's.

"I've waited four years to do that again." Bam breathed softly once they had untangled themselves from one another's arms. "And it was even better than I imagined."

Lexi blushed and took his hand. "Well I'm glad you did it." She admitted, smiling nervously. "Four years feels like forever ago." She added.

Bam nodded gently and Lexi felt an unnerving desire to go back in time and change the past. She would change it so that she and Bam had never been parted. Not that she would ever admit this to him.

The kiss had been amazing but both of them wanted more. Without the need to exchange words, Lexi and Bam made their way back to the car and drove silently to the nearest hotel. It felt a little dirty to Lexi, but going back to either of their homes was impossible.

By the time they got to their room they could not keep their hands off one another. Four years of love and lust had erupted between them and Bam pushed Lexi up against the door and kissed her passionately. She could not deny how good it felt to be this close to him again. Their lips crashed together as his body pressed up against hers and she moaned out for more. Bam pulled back and looked at her for reassurance. Lexi knew this was wrong but she couldn't stop herself as she nodded at Bam for him to carry on.

Lexi stood very still in front of Bam and let him lift her dress over her head. She felt vulnerable standing there in her underwear but Bam pulled his own shirt off and took her into his arms. His hands felt cold against her bare skin but she could feel her heart racing as she moved his hands to her back and her bra strap. In a second the clasp came away and Lexi let her bra drop to the floor. She couldn't remember the last time she had been naked in front of someone. She had never undressed like this in front of Tom, but somehow with Bam, her insecurities dissolved and she felt relaxed in his company.

Lexi unbuttoned Bam's shirt and he let it slide off his shoulders. She couldn't help but let out a tiny gasp at the sight of his toned and tattooed torso. She placed her hands gently on his chest and felt his heart pounding through his ribcage. Before she knew what was happening, their bodies collided on the bed in a fit of passion and she felt Bam's hands explore every inch of her body.

The next morning Lexi awoke to a huge headache. She may have drunk too much the night before but she was well aware of what had happened between her and Bam. She glanced across the bed, half expecting him to have vanished over night but was pleasantly surprised to find him sleeping soundly next to her with one arm draped across her stomach. Her joy in seeing he had not left quickly turned into guilt as she realised that in sleeping with Bam she had cheated on Tom. What disturbed her most however, was the fact that she did not regret it and this hit her like a ton of bricks, making her feel physically sick. There was no denying that the sex with Bam had been fantastic, especially after going so long without getting any, and she almost wished she could relive it with a sober mind.

Bam stirred beside her and she noticed that they were both naked. Her skin shivered as Bam's hand caressed her stomach. He was waking up.

"Ugh." He moaned, cuddling up to Lexi. He was evidently hung over and Lexi wondered if he realised who she was.

Bam slowly opened his eyes, greeting Lexi with pools of sparkling blue. His mouth opened slightly as he recalled the events that had led to them sharing a bed. Lexi remained silent and still, biting her lip nervously.

"Fuck." He exclaimed, but he was smiling and had not removed his arm from her waist.

She couldn't tell whether or not he was experiencing any regret, or if he was feeling guilty for betraying Jenn. They lay in silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Apparently they were beyond words.

Eventually Bam broke the silence. "Last night was amazing." He had a huge grin plastered across his face. "Are you ok Lex?"

Lexi nodded; surprised to hear him call her by the childhood nickname he had for her. She was still unable to find her voice. There were so many things she wanted to say to him. She wanted to tell him how last night never should have happened. She wanted to admit to him how much she had enjoyed it. She needed desperately to say something that would make the situation ok, but the words eluded her.

"Say something, please?" Bam asked, starting to look a little worried.

"I'm sorry." She choked. Her mouth was dry and those were the only words she could manage.

"For what?" he asked, moving his arm so that he could stroke her hair that lay wildly over the pillows. Lexi remained rooted to her spot in the bed.

"I don't know." She admitted, tearing her gaze away from his eyes. The hand running through her hair was comforting.

"You have nothing to be sorry for!" he told her, rolling over so they were now face to face. "Tell me that last night didn't feel right?"

She couldn't. Every aspect of last night had felt so right it was incredible. Her silence confirmed Bam's thoughts and he pressed his lips on to hers. This time they were both sober and although Lexi could taste the stale alcohol on his breath, he was still amazing

Finally she found her voice and looked Bam in the eye. "I can't deny that it felt right, but that doesn't change the fact that we both have partners. This should never have even happened in the first place. It's messed up."

"Sure it's messed up, and yes, it shouldn't have happened, but it did and nothing you can do will change that. You know you wanted this to happen deep down." Bam's eyes were sparkling and Lexi thought she might melt.

She let out a sigh and allowed Bam to pull her into his arms, despite her reservations. They lay together quietly for a while.

"What happens now then?" she asked tentatively, aware that her skin was on fire and trying not think about his naked body under the sheets.

Bam pulled her closer. "You call the shots." He whispered, continuing to stroke her hair.

This was exactly what she did not want. She didn't want the responsibility of deciding where they went from here. She had no idea of what she really wanted. Right now she wanted to be with Bam, but was that really a long term solution? Did they stand any chance of making a relationship work after their history? Lexi did not want it to jeopardise their relationship with their son.

"I don't know." She sighed, pushing her face into his chest in the hope that she could dissolve into him and not have to face reality.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He said, stroking her cheek. But what was she thinking?

"I'm thinking so many different things." Lexi told him. "I'm thinking of Caleb and Tom and Jenn. I'm thinking of last night and how good it felt. I'm thinking of you and everything that's happened between us. I'm thinking of what if everything goes wrong and we hurt each other again or what if nothing happens and I regret it. I want you to tell me what to do Bam. I can't make this decision on my own."

Bam stared at her and Lexi could tell he had understood everything she had said. He seemed to be processing these thoughts as he remained quiet for several moments. It was an impossible situation. Rather than provide her with an answer, Bam took Lexi's face in his hands.

"Maybe this will help." Once again their lips crashed against each other. Lexi shuddered as she felt his tongue run across her bottom lip. She parted her lips and they kissed passionately until they were gasping for breath. As they kissed, all sense and reasoning escaped Lexi's mind and at that moment in time she knew she wanted him. It would work out somehow. How could it not when they had Caleb uniting them? It was in his best interests for his parents to try and make their relationship work.

These thoughts were completely crazy, Lexi realised. This was the boy who had broken her heart; the man she had lied to for four years, they guy who had specifically told her to stay out of his life. Why had her feelings changed? Maybe she had always felt this way about him.

"I'm not gonna lie to you Lex, these past few weeks have changed my life: finding out I have a kid and having you back in my life. My head is fucked up right now and I'm not really in the position to make any big decisions."

Lexi nodded. It was weird to hear her childhood friend speaking such sense. Maybe something could work?

"But..." he continued. "I know I want you in my life. I never wanted you to leave in the first place. Now you're the mother of my child and I want Caleb to have a proper family."

"Bam." Lexi smiled. "That's all I've ever wanted for him. But if us being together doesn't work, surely it's better to stay apart?"

Bam nodded. "But how can we not try? For his sake. I know it seems like a big gamble, but we've been getting on so well."

Bam looked down at the incredible woman lying in his arms. Two months ago he had still hated her for leaving. Now he felt like the luckiest man in the world to have her back in his life. During the past weeks everything had changed and he felt as if anything was possible. He knew that he had betrayed Jenn, but had he really ever loved her? She was just company and a pain in the backside at that. He had never felt for her what he still did for Alex. Getting rid of Jenn would be an issue, but Bam was prepared to sacrifice anything to make things work with Alex.

"I agree." Lexi replied quietly, wrapping her arms around Bam. "It's crazy but with you anything was always possible."

Bam laughed and kissed the top of her head. Lexi could resist the temptation no longer and found herself pulling Bam on top of her. Their passionate kiss resumed as they explored one another's lustful bodies.


	18. Guilt Trip

**Chapter Eighteen.**

Half an hour later, Lexi and Bam lay in a tangled sweaty mess. Lexi's body had been aching for this kind of intimacy, but the fact that Bam had been the one to provide the release made the sex even better. During the night they had spent together, something had clicked in Lexi's brain and she realised that it had always been Bam and it always would be. No one could compare to the way he made her feel with just one startling blue glance.

"We really need to stop doing this." Lexi giggled, ignoring how vulnerable she was with her body lying exposed to Bam's wandering eye.

"But it's so good." Bam sighed, kissing her breast gently. A small moan escaped from her lips before she came to her senses and sat up, leaving Bam looking dismayed.

"We can't rush this." She told him, pulling the bed covers back to hide her modesty. "We need to work this out, seriously."

Bam nodded in agreement. "Like I said, you call the shots." He traced a finger down her shoulder, sending shivers down her spine. She had never felt this way with Tom. The thought of her boyfriend brought the feelings of guilt rushing back. She had never cheated on anyone in her life.

"I don't think we should tell anyone yet or do anything rash. We need to make sure this is going to work." Lexi said to him, contemplating what it would be like to be with Bam again properly. Could it really work? Was it really what she wanted?

"Ok, but I'm not going to stop seeing you. I'll sneak around like a teenager if I have to."

Lexi laughed but she knew he was being serious and the consequence of this was that they were both cheating on their partners. Lexi could not betray Tom like this and she resolved to talk to him sooner rather than later.

"You know, if I could turn back the clock, I never would have let you leave. No matter what stupid mistakes I made, I would have begged at your knees for you to stay. I should have stopped you and I will never forgive myself for that." Bam admitted, sinking his face into her hair.

"And I would have stayed."

Sneaking around like teenagers was going to be difficult considering Lexi and Bam had a three year old son to add to the equation. Bam had promised to talk to Jenn and cool things off with her before he and Lexi spent anymore time alone together. Lexi did not want to be that woman, but she also knew that she couldn't trust herself around Bam. He had some kind of spell over her.

Lexi knew she needed to talk to Tom, but she couldn't help but wonder if she could really trust Bam to keep his word about leaving Jenn. After all he had broken her heart once and he could easily do it again.

For the first few days after their night together, Lexi and Bam shared secret glances across rooms and stole quick kisses when no one was around. Lexi's feelings for Bam had given her a new lease of life and she found herself spending more and more time with her old friends. They had not told a soul about what happened in the hotel room, but Ryan in his infinite wisdom, could read his two oldest friends like a book.

"You and Bam slept together didn't you." He sighed knowingly one afternoon. Bam had taken Caleb to a hockey game and Lexi had plucked up the courage to visit her ever judging mother.

Lexi pretended to be shocked. "Why would you say that!" she demanded, setting her cup of coffee down and peering into the kitchen to ensure Vivian wasn't listening in.

"Alex, I've known both of you all my life. The way you two have been looking at each other recently? I've seen it before when we were teenagers. You return after four years and now Bam's happier than I've seen him in all those years."

Lexi sighed in defeat. "Ok. You're right. I'm ready for the lecture."

Ryan laughed and scratched his beard. "I'm not going to lecture you. You're both responsible adults, hell, parents now. What you do is up to you."

"But..." Lexi anticipated, staring at her cousin and ready for his input.

"But nothing. I think it's great. If he fucks things up this time I will kill him though." Ryan teased, winking at Lexi.

"What about Tom and Jenn though?" Lexi's conscious was getting the better of her. She had relied on Ryan to make her feel guilty.

"If you really want to be with Bam then it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks. You have a kid together and that's more important than anything else."

Lexi nodded and Ryan pulled her into a one armed hug on the sofa.

In order to weigh up her true feelings for Bam, Lexi resolved to spend as little time around him as possible for the next few days. It was more difficult than she expected however. Tom was back from his trip and happy to see that Bam was spending time with Caleb. In fact, Bam turned up every day under the pretence of seeing his son when in truth he wanted to spend time with Lexi as well.

"When are you going to talk to him?" Bam asked one afternoon when he had convinced Lexi to go to the park with him. It had now been a week since their intimate liaison in the hotel room.

"I just need some time Bam." Lexi told him quietly. "I need to sort my head out before I do something stupid." Lexi knew she should have thought before opening her mouth as a look of sadness spread across Bam's face.

"So being with me is stupid?" he asked looking at Lexi with puppy dog eyes.

"No, that's not what I meant." She sighed, staring into his eyes. "I don't want to rush things. Have you spoken to Jenn yet?"

Bam looked at the ground before shaking his head. Lexi knew it. He had no right to be upset with her lack of action when he too had not worked up the nerve to break things off with Jenn.

"I guess we're as bad as each other." Bam said sadly. "I've got to go away for a week. If you still feel the same way about us when I get back, we'll tell everyone and then we can be together, ok?" Bam took a step forward and took Lexi's face in his hands.

"Ok." Lexi agreed, letting Bam kiss her gently on the lips.

"One week." He repeated, embracing her tightly before saying goodbye to Caleb.

Lexi watched him make his way to his car with the overwhelming feeling that she had just let the love of her life slip through her fingers. As Bam glanced back before entering the car, Lexi vowed that she would do everything she could to enable them to be together.


	19. Daddy

**Chapter Nineteen.**

One week later Bam returned from his trip. Although they had been texting each other constantly, Lexi had missed him desperately. She and Caleb went to meet him at the airport on the afternoon of his return. As she sat nervously in the arrivals lounge, Lexi remembered being a teenager and waiting for him to come back from his tours.

"When's Bam getting here?" Caleb demanded, becoming more and more impatient. He had missed Bam just as much as Lexi this week.

"He'll be here any minute." Lexi told her stroppy son, glancing at the flight times.

"I wish he'd hurry." Caleb moaned, making Lexi giggle to herself. Caleb had certainly grown attached to Bam over the past few weeks and she was fairly certain the same could be said for Bam. She had been considering telling Caleb the truth. As she pondered these thoughts, a crowd of people made their way into the arrivals lounge and Lexi instantly spotted Bam. He was dressed in a black shirt and jeans his sunglasses still on. Lexi had always made fun of him for this, but he took them off as he spotted her and she could see him eyes sparkling as he made his way over.

"I've missed you so much!" he exclaimed, striding over to Lexi and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I've missed you too." She said, breathing in his scent as if her life depended on it. Now she had him back she didn't want to let go, but Caleb was tugging at Bam's leg so he let her go and scooped Caleb up into his arms.

"Have you missed me little fellow?" Caleb laughed and pulled Bam's hat off, revealing his dark curls. Lexi was suddenly taken aback by the striking similarity between father and son. It was time to introduce Caleb to his dad, she thought.

"Have you spoken to Tom?" Bam asked, putting Caleb back down.

Lexi shook her head guiltily; she knew this would come up."Jenn?" she turned the question back to him in an attempt to make herself feel better.

Bam shook his head as well. "This week. You wanna go get something to eat before heading home?"

Lexi agreed, desperate for any excuse to spend more time with Bam. The past week had been difficult and she was struggling to keep herself together, her head was in such a mess. She followed Bam out of the airport and they headed to her car.

"I told Jenn that Ryan was picking me up." Bam admitted as he threw his things into the back of the car.

"Ryan knows about us." Lexi sighed quietly, buckling herself into the driver's seat. "I swear my cousin has a sixth sense."

"He always knows everything." Bam laughed from the back of the car as he fastened Caleb into his child seat. "He's the original gossip girl."

Lexi chuckled as Bam joined her in the front of the car and she pulled out of the parking space. "So how was your trip?"

"Not bad, just did a few demos and met a few dudes about the CKY videos." Bam shrugged. "How have you been?"

Lexi sighed. "I don't know. I've not slept much." She admitted. "I don't really know where my head's at."

"Are you having second thoughts?" he asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on her leg.

"Yes...no...I don't know."

"I understand. This is a crazy situation. Who would have thought after all this time we'd end up like this." Bam squeezed her leg affectionately.

"I'm not going to rush you, but I want you to know I am one hundred percent sure that this is what I want and I am gonna do whatever I can to make it work this time."

Lexi glanced at Bam and smiled. "Thanks." She peered in the rear view mirror at Caleb who was preoccupied with a picture book. "There is something though..."

"Huh?"

"I want you to be Caleb's dad. I mean, I know you really are and everything, but I want him to know that. I want him to be able to call you daddy. If you'd like that." Lexi realised she was jabbering a little but Bam seemed to have gotten the message as he was beaming.

"Really?" His blue eyes were wide and sparkling.

"Really." She smiled, amused at the look of happiness spreading across his face.

"You know, before you came back, if someone told me I was a dad I would probably have run a mile, but when I found out about Caleb it was strange. I wasn't freaked out, well I was a little bit, but not as much as I would have expected. It's almost as if I knew already..."

"You reacted better than I had expected that's for sure." She laughed. "I don't mean to sound horrible or anything, but every day you surprise me, I never thought you'd be this good with him."

Bam laughed. "I don't blame you for thinking that. I surprise myself. So when can we tell him?"

"Go ahead." Lexi said gently, parking up outside a diner.

Lexi walked slowly behind as Caleb and Bam led the way to the diner. Before they got to the entrance Bam scooped Caleb up into his arms and whispered into his ear. Lexi was close enough to see Caleb's expression change into one of joy as he threw his little arms around Bam's neck. Bam paused for Lexi to catch up with them.

"Guess what mummy!" Caleb shrieked excitedly.

"What!" Lexi gasped as he jumped into her arms.

"Bam's my daddy!

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for the delay! I'm back at uni now and struggling to find time for everything! I am continuing with this story so please bear with me :)<em>


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